Mummy's Favourite Things

The dummy dilemma

2012-01-05T21:17:00.000+11:00

I've been meaning to write this post for a long long time but seem to have never found the time until now! The question of dummies is a vexed and controversial one. Do they help or hinder? Do they cause middle ear infections? Do they help to prevent SIDS? Do they ruin kids' teeth? Are they necessary?

When I was pregnant I decided not to introduce a dummy. I'm not sure why I decided this considering both Daniel and I had been serious dummy addicts as children. We both (strangely) had a special attachment to our dummies that often saw us with multiple dummies at any one time (in the mouth and hands).

Me at about Layla's age with my dummy (note the uber cool '70s vest - gorgeous)

Despite all the warnings about giving a dummy at an early age (breast refusal, nipple confusion, causing milk to digest too quickly) I decided to give one to Layla. She had demonstrated that she was a sucky baby and I decided to substitute a dummy for my little finger so I could achieve some degree of separation when she was a newborn. Initially I rarely used the dummy. It's primary use was to provide comfort in times of distress and an inability to settle. I only increased the availability of the dummy on the advice of a mothercraft nurse who observed the relief it brought to Layla. From that time on, Layla and her dummy have become inseparable.

Many friends have decided to take away the dummy from their babies/toddlers at various stages for various reasons. One of the main ones was due to the night time replacement nightmare. I was somewhat shocked that as a newborn Layla was unable to hang on to the dummy and that I constantly needed to replace it when it fell out. I had recalled stories of friends who cursed the decision to introduce a dummy due to the constant need to replace the plug throughout the night. It was due to this stage that I decided to look for a solution. This was when bunny was born!

Bunny is Layla's comforter. It is a strange object. It is comprised of a bunny's head attached to a soft fabric square. I started placing Bunny with Layla and I when I breastfed her from an early age so that it developed a sensory link to me. Before too long, Bunny was a regular feature at bedtime, providing comfort and a magical settling ability. Due to the dummy dilemma, Bunny had a renovation and became even more special. I sewed plastic press studs to the corners and then clipped two dummies to her. Layla had learned to locate Bunny during the night and was now able to find her dummies for reinsertion no matter the evening hour. Brilliant!

Due to the hour of this posting, Bunny was unavailable to have her picture taken.
This is an artists impression (hardly does her justice!)

Layla and her Bunny are best of friends. They have a very special relationship. Despite this, Bunny stays at home and in Layla's bed to ensure she is always available at sleep time. Bunny has a number of stunt doubles including one that lives in the wardrobe for emergencies (when Bunny #1 is being washed - she gets a lot of loving) and one that lives at Nani's place for when Layla is there when I am at work.

So what about the dummy dilemma. Did I do the right thing? Do I love or hate the plug? Who knows. There are times I love it and times I hate it. All I know is that Layla likes it and it is comforting for her. My parents still recall their concern over my dummy dependency to the point that they were worried I'd be walking down the aisle as a bride with it! Despite these concerns, I gave it up when I was ready and I believe Layla will too.

There is no right or wrong answer. You do what you need to do in order to bring comfort to your child. Whether it is a dummy, a comforter, their finger/thumb, a teddy or a doll, every child is different. Deciding whether to introduce or maintain a dummy should not be a dilemma but rather something that you decide to do given the circumstances you face.

The way to be a good Mum

2011-12-04T19:58:00.000+11:00

I've always known Mums. My Mum, her Mum, my Dad's Mum, friends' Mums and Grandmothers. Every Mum I know is different. They look different, act different and work differently. Despite these obvious differences, there seems to be one accepted way of doing things when it comes to raising children. Why is it that we can all be different as people yet it is expected to conform as Mothers?

Whether you breastfeed for 2 minutes, 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or never,

you are still a good Mum.

Whether you choose to follow a routine or let your child decide how their day runs,

you are still a good Mum.

Whether you decide to give your child a bedtime or wait until they fall asleep,

you are still a good Mum.

Whether you feed your child organic vegetarian meals or junk food,

you are still a good Mum.

Whether you have a natural birth or a Cesarean,

you are still a good Mum.

No matter the choices you make, you're a good Mum if you love your child and provide a loving home for them.

To expectant Mums who may be nervous about their imminent arrival, know that as long as you love your child and act in their best interest, you will be the best Mum they will ever have. We are all different, our children are all different and there is no one way of being a Mum. Good luck and take it one day at a time.

Ever wondered what is going on in there?

2011-11-29T14:31:00.000+11:00

Yesterday Layla turned 19 months. We have entered the next phase in the lead up to her second birthday, that heralds so many changes as she transitions from a baby to a child.

The other night, Layla and I spent many hours awake for no particular reason. While these waking periods have now become somewhat infrequent, I often find myself thinking, as I sit in the dark, about how many nights and hours I have spent holding Layla at night since she was born. So much has changed during that time. In someways it feels like we brought her home form hospital yesterday and at other times it feels like a lifetime ago.

Over the past months Layla's self designed signing skills have developed exponentially. She has managed to develop her own way of letting Daniel and I know what she wants without transitioning to fully developed speech. While she is talking more and more each day, she relies heavily on her sign language to get her message across. Last night her performance would have impressed even Marcel Marceau. She told me, through her signing, that she required me to pat her in order for her to to go back to sleep. This was after she signalled the need for a drink on several occasions.

It is amazing to watch how her skills and ability develop as the days and weeks fly by. I found this amazing website that focuses on baby/toddler/child brain development. Select the age bracket and the interactive website shows you the parts of the brain associated with certain skills and their development. I was entranced for hours the other night as I learnt and contemplated all that is going on inside of Layla's cute little head.

The fascination of one's self

2011-11-20T21:47:00.001+11:00

My sister always says that there is nothing more fascinating than one's self. Ever noticed that people (me included) cannot help but check themselves out when passing a shop window, standing in a lift with a mirror or in the rear vision mirror of their cars? There is something strange, disturbing yet comforting in seeing your own image. It is amazing to see how Layla reacts to herself in the mirror. She is and has always been fascinated with pictures of herself. I'm still not sure she realises that the little person staring back at her is herself. Beyond the fascination of the mirror, Layla is mesmerised and obsessed with photos and videos of herself taken on my phone. She asks to watch them everyday without fail and generally has a melt down when I bore of the activity and pack the phone away.

No matter if you love or hate having photos taken of yourself, when the expiry of your drivers licence or passport rolls around, most of us cringe at having to have our photo taken. Just recently I was faced with this dilemma. I pulled out my expiring licence and closely examined the picture. There I was, in my licence photo, wearing a suit, posing for the image that would grace my ID for the next five years. Who was the girl in the photo taken five years ago? She was a single career woman who was living with her boyfriend in Randwick. She worked very long hours and was dedicated to her career. She went to the gym 4-5 times a week and spent her weekends socialising with friends and family. She travelled extensively and had no idea what the next five years would hold. As I held my licence, I began to wonder where I would be in another five years time when I once again would be faced with a licence renewal. Did I want to look back at my photo and think "Wow....look how tired and dishevelled I looked! Being a new Mum really took it out of me"? I certainly did not. So, as a result, I did something very vain and contrived. I got dressed up, put on make up and jewellery and took myself off to the hairdressers for my normal cut/colour visit. After a number of hours in the salon chair and feeling a million bucks, I went to have my licence renewed. The photos was taken and my image captured for the next five years. I never thought I would ever say this about my licence, but I LOVE the photo. On days when I feel tired, worn out, filthy and exhausted, I look at the photo and smile. Under the caked on food, the old jeans and runners as well as the tightly tied back hair lies woman who is momentarily hiding. I'm sure she'll be back for good when the next photo is taken!

So enough about me! My stories were not the reason I started writing this blog. The reason was to share ideas and insights as well as lessons learnt about being a parent. I recently followed the idea of Layla's fascination with photos of herself by making her a book about herself. I was inspired by a cousin of mine in Melbourne who put together a photo book of her son for her husband on Fathers Day. I decided to create a book for Layla called "Mamma, Dadda and Me". The book tells the story of Layla - from my pregnancy, through to her birth and onto all the things we love to do together. I had it made in a small soft cover size that Layla can read herself. Needless to say that the book has become a bedtime favourite (actually any time of the day!). The project cost me under $10 delivered and is not only a fascination to Layla but a beautiful keep sake.

"I love my Dadda, I really really do. I love my Mamma, yes it's true.
I love the places we go and the things we see.
I love all the things we do together.
I love my Mamma and my Dadda and they love me!"

I took up a recent deal on one of the multitude of daily deal sites and made another book for Layla. This book is called "My Family" and features pictures of Layla, Daniel and I as well as Layla's grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I can't wait for it to arrive in order to show Layla. She is going to be thrilled!

Joining the club

2011-11-17T20:13:00.001+11:00

Before I had a baby, I felt that a number of friends with new family additions had forgotten me. It seemed that when their small person arrived, their friends got let behind. I was angry, miffed, concerned and generally lost as to the reason. When I had a baby, it wasn't long before I understood the reason for the disappearance of my once friends. It seemed that this tiny person occupied so much time, that there was little, if any time left for the previous social activities that had dominated my life. It wasn't a reflection on my friends but rather a sign of the times. I had joined a club where free time is measured in minutes rather than hours, indulgences are limited to things I once deemed to be necessities and topics of discussion shift to baby development, feeding and sleeping.

This got me thinking about the concept of joining a club. I bought a new wallet a few months back. It's a lovely colour and style but somewhat insufficient. I have so many club cards that I can hardly close the wallet. There are cards for clothing stores, coffee shops, sellers of kids stuff and fitness groups. Despite a recent cull, the number of cards are out of control. The cards tell a story of the things I like, the places I go, the things I do and places I belong. I feel a degree of commitment to these providers as evidenced by my need to carry their cards around everywhere I go. I believe that these providers peddle goods and services I want, need and believe to be the best for me. When I had a baby and joined the parental club, there were a lot of invisible club cards I started carrying without even knowing it. These cards were for certain brands, practices, beliefs and alliances that I believed to be the best and right for me and my child. In taking this stand on my club membership alliances, I joined the debate as to what is best and right.

I recently read this article that struck a chord for me.....

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/nutrition-and-wellbeing/why-cant-women-be-more-supportive-20111107-1n44w.html

As women we forget that everyone has a right to make choices as to the clubs they join, based on what is right for them and their families. There are no right and wrong answers but rather the best choice for individuals. We need to stop pressuring other women to join one club over the other or comment that the choice a woman has made was wrong. Whether it is the brand of pram, breastfeeding over bottles, whether to offer a dummy or not, co sleeping or baby sleeping in their own beds, baths over showers or when to start solids, every mother has a reason for the choices she makes. Normally this is based on what is right for her child, her family, her relationship, their homes, her activities and so many other factors. So let's stop bagging each other for the clubs we belong to and realise we are all a part of the same club - Parenthood!

A picture tells a thousand words

2011-11-02T21:06:00.000+11:00

Layla is now 18 months old. Our days are busy with playing, learning, tantrums and exploring. Layla talks constantly. Her vocabulary is developing all the time. She understands everything and complements her jabbering with signing and hilarious facial expressions. You quickly realise with a baby and toddler, that everyday is about learning new things. Layla mimics our actions and behaviours as she learns how to exist as a little person.

I try to turn most of our activities into a learning experience. Bath time is no exception. Right from when Layla was only a few months old, we have always had books in the bath. Each night we read these stories and sing songs to match the pictures. I wanted to add a new dimension to bath time that matched her current stage of development. I recently purchased a cheap laminator from Office Works. I was surprised that I was able to get the machine and sleeves for under $30! I went through all of my old magazines and cut out a range of pictures of relevance to Layla - food, animals, clothes and plants. I then laminated each picture and cut them out. Now we use the pictures as story and talking points in the bath.

As time goes on I plan on introducing letters, words and more pictures to our bath time. The laminator has also come in handy for laminating photos of family and friends to use in games and everyday learning.

Let them eat cake!

2011-10-13T20:55:00.001+11:00

I am fairly strict when it comes to Layla's diet. With a family history of diabetes and my sweet tooth, I try everything I can to avoid giving Layla sugar. Over the past four months, we have had serious night waking problems. Upon a change in her diet (exclusion of cows milk at night and no fresh fruit after lunch), we now have a toddler who is sleeping through the night. I am always looking for new and exciting snack ideas to keep Layla happy as the afternoons draw on. We have a steady stack of savory muffins in the freezer that most days are either loved or hated by Layla depending in the direction of the wind . I came across a recipe the other day that looks like becoming a new favourite.

Thanks to some well meaning family members, Layla has developed a taste for honey cake. She calls it Goo-Goo and walks around the house in the afternoons asking for it. Tonight my husband asked me how I knew it was cake that she was asking for considering she had only tasted it a few times in recent weeks. I explained that when I ask her whether she wants a sandwich, she says Goo-Goo. When I ask if she wants some fruit, she says Goo-Goo. When I ask if she wants cake, she displays a massive long lasting smile as a clear direction as to her desires.

So here is a new recipe that should satisfy Layla's desires for Goo-Goo and my plans to maintain a healthy toddler diet.

This recipe is adapted from Citrus and Candy

Apple and Zucchini Bread
Ingredients
195g plain flour, sifted (I used half plain and half wholemeal flour)
1 tsp bicarb soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
120ml canola or vegetable oil
190g light brown sugar (I used 150g of Xylitol)
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 large (or 2 small) zucchini, grated (to make about 1 to 1.5 cups)
1 granny smith apple, peeled and grated (to make about 1/2 cup)
50g chopped roasted walnuts (optional)(I excluded the nuts)

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and grease a large loaf tin (about 22 x 13 x 8cm).
Sift the flour, bicarb, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg into a bowl and set aside.
With an electric mixer, whisk together the oil, sugar, eggs and vanilla extract for a couple of minutes until well blended.
With a wooden spoon, stir through the grated zucchini and apple then add the sifted flour mixture and nuts and gently stir until just combined (do not over mix).
Scrape into the loaf tin and bake for 55-60 minutes or until the bread has risen and a skewer comes out clean.
Cool on wire rack then remove bread from tin. Can be served plain at room temperature.
Bread can be frozen or kept for a few days if well-wrapped or in an airtight container.

So the Goo-Goo is sliced and frozen for the next afternoon snack. It tastes like a combination of carrot cake and banana bread and I am sure will become a family favourite.

I admit it.......I'm a liar!

2011-08-31T13:02:00.000+10:00

The other day a friend posted on FaceBook that her darling baby boy had decided that 5am was an appropriate time to start the day. Given she is a friend and her son is young than Layla, I thought it was appropriate for me to comment on her status. I noted that we never stared our day at 5am and perhaps some controlled crying was in order. Shortly after I relied to her post, I realised what I had done.

I had turned into one of 'those' Mummies who either:

a. has an unusual baby who sleeps well and has always been a dream sleeper and thus has no clue what Mummies with non-sleeping babies actually go through;

b. a Mummy who, thanks to sleep deprivation or the need to save face, paints an unrealistic picture of her baby's sleep habits; or

c. a Mummy who has simply forgotten just how hard the first year really is.

I think I fall in category C.....either that or I'm just a big fat liar!

Just the other day while discussing Layla's sleep habits a member of my extended family said that he did not remember his kids ever going through a stage of unexplained night waking. I must admit that I felt truly crushed when he said it. Over the past three months, Layla has been waking in tears for 2-3 hours EVERY night. I have no idea why - perhaps it is separation anxiety or teething. What I do know is that I have had heaps of advice, read plenty of books and done a fair bit of soul searching. So far I have no answer. I've tried all the techniques. Even holding and rocking doesn't seem to work. Each night I hope tonight will be different, but generally it isn't. I'm fumbling through each day feeling like a zombie with little if any light at the end of the tunnel. Layla sleeps well during the day and goes to bed easily and quietly. It's the night crying that I am at a loss to understand. I know that this can't last forever but three months on I've accepted it to be the norm (for now at least).

As Mums (and Dads) we try so hard to help our children reach their milestones. Sleeping is just one of them that seems to preoccupy our consciousness so much of the time. All we want is for a sense of normality to return our lives and for your children to progress. Despite these humble aims, there is a real sense of competition in needing to prove to each other that our child is progressing faster than another.

So in short, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I have had to start my day on a few occasions at 5am (despite not liking it one bit). I have also had 16 months of night waking that I am fed up with and hugely embarrassed about. Sleeping at our house is a long way from being normal or perfect.

As a result of this blimp, I promise to be more aware that every parent goes through their moments of unexplained behaviour that we'd rather not admit to. All you can do is hope that tomorrow things get better!

Looking in the mirror

2011-08-21T14:20:00.001+10:00

Needless to say, I don't remember what I looked like as a small child. There are some days that I hardly remember what I looked like yesterday or last year. Photos and video provides us with an experience in time travel that lets us go back to the way life used to be. I've often looked back at photos of the hideous fashion faux pas of my teenage years, the time I spent travelling when I finished school, even my early school years that seemed like a lifetime ago. However, it has been my recent reflections on my toddler years that are absolutely fascinating to me right now.

I've looked at these photos over the years with fondness of times gone by but now that Layla is at a similar age, I am mesmerised. I look at these photos and I used to see the innocence, my childhood, the happiness. Now all I can see is Layla!

As a grandparent, my Mum often tells me of the delight she feels in being able to spend so much time with Layla as it lets her experience my childhood all over again.

These photos have made me think about the journey of life I have taken and all that lies ahead of Layla. I wonder whether our paths will be the same or different.

When your child is born, the moment is so emotional and awesome that the enormity of the reality of life can be lost. As newborns, their personalities are barely present. As toddlers, who they really are starts to shine through. There is something so special about having a child who looks like you. It is quietly satisfying but mostly scary. Everyday I look at her and see myself and wonder what the future will bring.

So my favourite thing right now is anything to do with photography. I'm loving my iPhone and it's ability to capture photos and video where ever we are. I'm also loving my investment in a digital SLR camera. I realised a little while back that I was missing so many beautiful times with Layla and that my compact camera was letting me down. So I took a deep breath and jumped in with both feet. All I can say is that the shots are amazing, I'm obsessed with learning more and buying new lenses and now kick myself for not doing it earlier.

My Nanna owned one of the first portable (ha!) video cameras. The contraption had a camera and a bag that housed the recording equipment. She lugged that thing around on holidays and always had it set up for family special occasions. Ironically, my Nanna has been gone for over twenty years now yet the memories of our childhoods live on. Being able to watch myself at Layla's age brings a whole new perspective for me to her childhood, the amazing job my Mum did in raising us and how much life has changed. I hope to be able to pass on the memories my Nanna captured along with my snaps to Layla so that the memories continue with the generations.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

2011-08-20T20:00:00.001+10:00

The milestones of a child's development are amazing, painful, wonderful, scary and extremely tiring. Having survived the first year, Layla and my journey continues. I've spoken about the fantastic book 'The Wonder Weeks' before. The guidance on riding the waves of developmental leaps has been like having a special voice of comfort in times of worry and change. However, the latest leap has been more than trying. Over the past almost three months Layla has been going through some major changes. Her mind has been working overdrive. We've had serious separation anxiety resulting in hours of crying and night waking. There has been gastro and a cold to top things off. I've been a walking zombie going to work on two hours sleep and my marriage has been tested as the effects of sleep deprivation take it's toll.

The journey Layla has been preparing for came to fruition over the past two weeks. Her journey of a thousand miles has started with a single step. The first steps came a couple of weeks back while I was at work. She took a few unaided steps while with my Mum. I was both pleased and proud as well as devastated to have missed this milestone. The weeks that followed have been filled with attempts and falls, frustration and joys. The single steps has rapidly evolved into confident walking. We've graduated from soft leather slippers into big girl walking shoes. It is delightful to see her face fill with confidence and achievement as she conquers each days next walking challenge. The steps are becoming strides. Soon walking will become running. The complacent baby in her pram has become a boisterous toddler determined to walk everywhere despite the risks and dangers.

I'd like to say that the past fifteen months has flown by. In many ways they have but in other ways, the journey has been made up of many hard, challenging, sad, happy, tiring, exciting and slow steps. Each developmental leap has posed a new dilemma for me as a Mum and for Layla as a growing child. This last leap has been the hardest so far. I thought that as each step was achieved, things would get easier. In actual fact, each step build on the one before. Each step is steeper and higher and further away from the one before it. I look at back at newborn babies and pregnant women in the street and can hardly believe that I too was here not that long ago.

In order to mark each step, I have decided to commence a new project. I've decided to photograph each of Layla's shoes and build the pictures into a montage paying tribute to the huge steps we have taken together. I want to capture the new shoes as a symbol of anticipation and excitement that the future holds as well as the tired, worn and experienced shoes that show where we have been and how we survived. At times I feel like I have lost my opportunity to be creative now that my time has dwindled. This project will let me build a living tribute to the journey Layla and I are on. I look forward to being able to share the end result with you.

Hello........is it me you're looking for?

2011-07-25T07:09:00.000+10:00

Before I had Layla, a number of my friends had already had babies. Our relationship changed once their babies came along. I used to think that this change was because I didn't have a baby and these friends had joined a new friendship group - parents with kids. What I now realise is that our friendship changed because their lives changed. The clear delineation between week and weekend, the concept of having nothing to do and the luxury of being able to spend hours just relaxing with friends are things that disappear when little people arrive. When I joined the club, I finally realised why our friendships had changed. It was not because the love was lost or the friendship was not valued, but rather time is so limited and getting through the everyday demands often leaves little if anything left. I never imagined it would be like this.

Over the past four months, my life has undergone yet another monumental change. I went from wife and mother to working mum. Life has never been busier. To complicate matters, Layla has been struggling with teething pain and separation anxiety issues (I could (and may write) a whole post on this). Despite all of this, I am constantly amazed by what is possible. I used to whinge about going to work on less than 8 hours sleep or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of running a home. Nowadays I've found myself at work 'functioning' on 2 hours sleep and continuing to juggle shopping, washing, meals, cleaning and entertaining all with a smile (most of the time).

Layla with pink teething cheeks - 14 months

One of the things that seems to have fallen by the wayside in my haze of exhaustion and hectic goings on has been my blog. Many of you have noted how much you miss it and wondered if I was still going to write. Many a topic and headline has circulated through my head over the past few months teasing my back to my blog. It has not been desire that has kept me away but rather a sheer lack of time. So here is my first post since my break. I hope to follow it up shortly with more insights, feedback and generally baby/toddler chatter. See you soon!

Through the Looking Glass

2011-05-08T21:58:00.001+10:00

As a child, my father read to us of far away places, different cultures and beliefs as well as fantastic worlds of mystery and intrigue. I recall him reading us the works of Lewis Carroll, particularly that of his 1871 work Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There. Far removed from the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland I was familiar with, Through the Looking Glass was a book that I found interesting but scary. The world on the other side of the looking glass was backwards, things looked the same but were opposite and so many things Alice thought she knew were turned upside down.

I've been doing a bit of reflecting on the year that was. Now that Layla has commenced her second year, things are so different to the challenges of year one. Don't get me wrong - there are still plenty of challenges, but things are very different. We know each other and despite her changing every day, I feel like I've got this Mummy business somewhat under control.

A number of my friends have recently had babies and watching them as well as Layla reaching one has made me revisit my experience. In my professional life, I am an organised, logical and determined woman. I take on challenges with excitement while seeing hurdles as a development opportunity. Before I had Layla, I was a person who got things done, always presented well, knew what was happening and always managed to squeeze the most out of every day. I always knew I wanted to have a child. My maternal instinct was strong and as the years ticked by, I continued to yearn for a child of my own. Having seen my friends have their babies and having spent plenty of time babysitting and nannying in my university days, I felt I knew what to expect and how I would cope. If that was the case, then why when I had a child did I feel like Alice going through the mirror into an upside down, back to front, parallel universe? I was no longer the organised, confident, professional, presentable woman. Instead I was the teary, messing, tired, confused Mum who stumbled from one day to the next unsure as to what was happening on the other side of the mirror. I really shocked myself as to how I fared and how I felt.

I wonder how people saw me during this phase? Did they see me the same way as I saw myself? Did every new Mum feel this way? A few months ago, I was standing in the lift at Westfield. Layla was in the pram, covered in food, her face was filthy and her running nose was reeking havoc on her delicate skin. I was in a tracksuit with remnants of breakfast caked in my leg, my hair tied back to conceal the need to wash it, no make up on, just the bags under my eyes that told a tale of yet another sleepless night. I looked across the lift to see a woman with a young baby, immaculately dress, hair and make up done to perfection. I felt like I was looking through Alice's looking glass yet again. It made me wonder whether the experiences of new motherhood are always what they seem to those on the outside. I wondered whether her baby was a good sleeper, did she have help at home, did she forgo that extra hour of sleep in order to prepare herself? I wondered what she was thinking as she looked at me.

When people would ask me how I was going during that first year, did I tell the truth or did I smile and put up a story of perfection? When I ask my friends do they tell the truth? Does everyone struggle like I did to come to terms with the change or do some people just take it in their stride? Looking back, I feel embarrassed about how desperate I felt at that time. The sleep deprivation sent me crazy. I was no longer that confident professional woman but rather a crazed, tired Mum wanting to stop the ride and get off, if only for a short while. Did I whinge too much about the problems I was having or did I put on a fake happy face and pretend that this was everything I had wished for? I think I did a bit of both. Looking back, I'm a bit shocked that I didn't sail through the early months. There is no doubt that I put in the effort. The problem was that I expected perfection instead of reality.

The first year is the hardest. I never really knew that before I began this journey despite all my reading and preparation. Overall, I survived and so did Layla. We made it past the milestone and are now continuing our journey, this time on the right side of the mirror.

Wishing all the Mummies - tracksuit wearing to perfectly coiffed a wonderful and happy Mothers Day. The ride of motherhood takes you to places you never expected, you never want to go to again and can't wait to revist, all at the same time. Quite a ride!!

You must be kidding!

2011-05-04T22:07:00.000+10:00

The phenomonon of group buying has taken the world by storm. Whether it is Spreets, Cudo, Deals of the Day or Scoopons, there are countless providers offering discount products and services at amazing rates. Despite the countless companies and offers, what seems to be missing is a provider that specialises in offers for kids and families.

This is where KidUNot comes into its own.

KidUNot is a new business that not only offers amazing daily deals on all things kids but it will donate $1 to a children's charity for every person who signs up!

Why not sign up now and you will go in the draw to win 1 in 10 vouchers worth $300.

Looking forward to seeing and buying amazing deals for bubs!!

Reaching the 1st year milestone....do I really remember what has passed?

2011-05-03T20:29:00.002+10:00

As my due date approached, I would wake each morning and wonder whether today would be the day - the day I would become a Mum. The anticipation, nerves and excitement almost drove me crazy. I wondered what labour would be like, whether I was going to have a boy or a girl, what this little person inside me looked like and what would it's personality be. All the waiting and wondering came to an end on 28th April 2010 when my Layla Jade was born happy and healthy.

Now a year has passed. My worrying and waiting really only started on that day rather than coming to an end. Our first year together has been the hardest, happiest, most testing and challenging, emotional and satisfying year of my life. The little bundle who starred into my eyes, with such a constant gaze, has turned into a confident, beautiful, happy and clever child.

I began writing this blog out of frustration. If so many women had had babies, why were so many things about having a newborn such a mystery? Why did everyday bring a new challenge that was emotionally, physically and mentally so taxing? Why didn't women talk about and educate expectant mothers about what to expect? This week I figured out why......because we forget!

Last week, Layla turned one. Planning and preparing for a birthday brought back so many childhood memories of cakes, candles, decorations and fun. As expected, Layla was spoilt with gifts and love.

Preparing for Layla's birthday was exciting, stressful, fun and exhausting......a reflection of the first year really! Everyday brings a new challenge and new experience that is all encompassing. The journey to get to this point has been amazing but distracting too. At each point along the way, I have been focused on the here and now. The challenges of last week seem like a lifetime ago. I think the reason why along the way I felt so surprised that no one had prepared or warned me was because my Mummy friends were dealing with their own Mummy challenges for their kids at their particular stage. Every stage from birth onwards brings it's own challenges, worries, stress and joy. We don't go out of our way to hide or gloss over the hard stuff, it's just that we are preoccupied with the here and now. We forget how hard it really is. Our memory gets clouded. So forgive us if we don't call enough, offer to help enough, are not compassionate enough. Just know that we have all been there and survived. Tomorrow is another day that will mean one step further from yesterday's worries and one step closer to the next.

Oh Baby It's Cold Outside

2011-04-23T22:03:00.001+10:00

With the end of daylight savings, the days are getting cooler and there is a definite chill during the evenings. Layla was born at the end of April and while technically she was an autumn baby, I considered her a winter baby due to the cold winter we had in Sydney last year. Having a winter baby means working out how to keep your new precious bundle warm and protected from the elements without overheating. Here are a few tips:

Room thermometer - keeping an eye on the room temperature is important to ensure your bub is not waking due to being too cold. I used the thermometer on my baby monitor as well as my bath thermometer. When Layla was very small, I used an oil column heater to maintain a constant temperature in her room.While it was very effective, the result on our electricity bill was a bit of a shock;

Vapouriser - with winter comes colds. Seeing a little baby with a cold is a heartbreaking sight for any parent. Without the ability to blow their noses, the constent sniffles and congestion is very upsetting. In order to help sick babies sleep, a vapouriser is a worthwhile investment. The warm humid air filled with eucalyptus and menthol makes a big difference to any sniffle. Vapourisers can be purchased from most chemists for as little as $30-$40;
Sleeping bags - once babies start moving around their cot and no longer need to be swaddled, a sleeping bag is a great way to ensure they stay warm at night. There are many brands on the market with a range of warmth ratings to suit each child and home. Layla has a range of grobags and bubbaroo bags for summer and winter which have proved to be invaluable;
Polar fleece blankets - this amazing fabric is warm, light and easily washed. When Layla was newborn, I would wrap her in these great blankets to ensure she was warm even on the coldest day;
Woolen beanies and jackets - Layla is very spoilt by her Nanny when it comes to winter woolies. From when she was born, she has had amazing woolen clothing to keep her toasty and warm. With Winter just around the corner, her winter woolies wardrobe is bursting with stunning creations. The ability to find modern woollen clothing for babies is a difficult task. Whether it is cost or practicality, such handmade beauties are very hard to find. My Mum makes and sells her amazing creations (http://www.babyshnookies.blogspot.com/) that are not only modern designs but can be machine washed. Their quality ensures that they can be handed down to subsequent children in years to come. Come and check them out to find something to keep your bubba nice and warm this winter;

Pram foot muff - any parent who has tried to keep a blanket on a baby in a pram knows what an impossible task it is. We bought a great pram liner and foot muff made from polar fleece that has kept Layla warm on many a winter walk. It was not only warm but could be easily washed and dried. Some pram brands make their own muffs but there are also generic versions available.

Mummies get cold too during winter. Night time feeding often means that Mummies need to get out of a warm bed to tend to a crying baby. Investing in a couple of sets of flannel pyjamas is a must. The button through tops allow for easy breastfeeding without having to strip off. The other worthwhile investment is a polarfleece dressing gown. They are warm, light as well as washing and drying quickly. Big pockets allow for you to carry all the necessary essential items with you while keeping you warm day and night. I was never a fan of the dressing gown until I had Layla. Now I realise that it is an essential Mummy item!

Entering the unknown - blissful ignorance or fearful panic?

2011-04-16T19:29:00.000+10:00

As time flies and we rapidly approach Layla's first birthday, I have started to think back to what I was doing this time last year. I was in serious nesting mode in anticipation for the arrival of our new baby. I spent my days shopping, cleaning, organising, thinking, waiting and waiting some more. People used to say to me "you'll never have a time like this again". I would smile at their statement and let the words wash over me. In hindsight, they were oh so true. The weeks before Layla was born were all mine. My needs and wants were priority. I did things when and how I wanted without giving it another thought. While I have been able to have some 'me' time this year thanks to the generosity of husband and family, I now see that those weeks were so unique and special.

One of the reasons I have been doing so much reflecting and thinking is because of all the lovely ladies in my life who have either recently given birth or are waiting for their arrival any day. Every time I see them or think of them my mind starts to race. Now that I am no longer sleep deprived, it is amazing how powerful the maternal instinct is. I see heavily pregnant women and feel jealous as well as nervous and excited. They are about to go through such a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. Just like any roller coaster, there are moments when you think you may die and others when you have such a rush that you feel more than alive. In many ways I just want to shake them and say "you have no idea what you are about to experience. Be ready, be prepared, know it will be ok, hang in there, it's ok to cry, it does get better....." and so so much more.

Layla @ 11months - cheeky as always

I started writing this blog almost 6 months ago because I felt that having a baby was such secret women's business. As women, we don't adequately prepare each other for the experience of motherhood. Some women scare expectant mums, others paint an overly rosie picture. I hope there is something in between. I hope that women share with expectant Mums. Share the joys and the heartache, the tips and advice as well as the realities of what I know realise is the hardest job in the world. Nothing I have or will ever do is as hard and rewarding as being a Mum. It has truly changed me. People said it would but I didn't believe them. How wrong I was.

A message to Mummies out there - share your mummy skills and knowledge with new and expectant Mums. Don't scare them but don't gloss over things. Give them tips, share your books, listen to them, send them messages of support, make them dinner. Demystify the world of motherhood and help expectant Mums grow into their new role.

When you really know you're a parent

2011-04-10T16:43:00.000+10:00

This week I had a moment when I really knew I was a parent. There are many things in my life that have changed over the past year. Most of them revolve around my needs no longer being central to existence. However, this week I had a sick little girl and it brought to mind just how much changes when your children are sick and how much they need their Mum. My once vibrant, energetic, independent and happy little girl was turned into a sad, teary, clingy, sleepy and dependant baby who needed her Mummy so much more than normal. It seems that my 'food poisoning ' from dodgy take away was actually gastro. I hear from friends that it is making its way around and so far my Mum, sister, Layla and I have all fallen victim. Now that both Layla and I are over the worst, it got me thinking about dealing with a sick baby and what I had learnt this year. I'm very lucky that Layla has not been very sick in her first year however there have been a few illnesses that have thrown us both.

Here are some tips that I thought I'd share with you:

Changing bed linen in the middle of the night due to a sick child is not an enjoyable experience. Having a spare mattress protector, sleeping bag, sheets and comforter are all a must. In order to reduce the amount of washing (and purchases), placing a Huggies disposable change mat between the cot sheet and mattress protector ensures if the sheets need to be changed, the whole bed does not need to be remade and washed. The change mats are cheap, large and super handy;
Giving panadol to a sick baby is not one of my favourite tasks. Layla often vomits or becomes very distressed when the panadol comes out. We have been able to avoid this drama by using Panadol Baby Suppositories. They are easily and quickly inserted, are more easily absorbed and provide fever relief quickly. The suppositories can be purchased from your local chemist;
Keep a baby medical kit in your baby's room for easy, middle of the night access. I've used a large plastic container with lockable sides that contains medicines, thermometer and measuring cups. Having everything in Layla's room means that medication can be administered quickly when needed. Very helpful when I am tired and called into action in the middle of the night;
There are a number of brands on the market but I have found having an infrared thermometer really helpful. These gadgets read temperatures in a few seconds by being pointed/held against the baby's head. Great when you need to know if your baby has a fever;
I make all of Layla's food and generally don't buy foods. However when she is sick I often give her Heinz Fruit Gels. They are made with fruit juice and vegetable gums and are a fun way to get fluids and sugars (natural no added sugar) into a little one who is off their food. Keep a few spares in the cupboard as an emergency;
Keep them close, give plenty of hugs and know that tomorrow is another day!

Sorry folks.....no photos of sick babies for this post.

Reflections on Maternity Leave

2011-04-05T10:48:00.000+10:00

I've been contemplating writing this post for weeks now. As the days of my maternity leave drew to a close, I started reviewing the time that was. This is the second time I have taken a year out of my normal study/work life to do something different. The first time was when I took a year off after my HSC before starting university. On both occasions, the time has yielded a significant change in me - mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

For many years in my professional life, I have advised employers on issues associated with maternity leave management. On reflection, this now seems weird considering that previously my advice was based purely on the legalities of the leave without having personally taken such leave. In hindsight, my leave has been nothing like what I expected.

As the final days of my pregnancy came to an end, I could not wait for a break from work and to commence my maternity leave. I was unsure what my leave would entail but I must be honest and say that I didn't expect that it would be as hard as it was. If I was to summarise my maternity leave it would look something like this:

Spent the first month running around getting organised and didn't rest nearly enough;
Labour started in my due date (so organised!) and 36 hours later my gorgeous Layla was born;
Endured a horrendous introduction to breastfeeding that resulted in three bouts of mastitis. Eleven months on and we're still breastfeeding;
I'm yet to sleep a whole night and get close to the amount of sleep per night I used to (have given up for now);
Feel like I have done the same thing every day for eleven months. Groundhog day big time;
Had no idea that a dressing gown would be so useful and comforting;
Have a whole new appreciation for women with twins (and other multiple births);
Think my Mum is the most amazing woman in the world;
Have learnt to do most tasks with one hand;
Have seen more shades and smells of poo than I thought possible;
Think I have overdeveloped arm and hand muscles from rocking and patting;
Have developed a love/hate relationship with parenting books;
Have no idea where the days, weeks and months have gone;
Never knew that just managing to get dinner cooked could take all day and be an achievement;
That it is ok for my day to start at 2pm;
I never realised that sleep deprivation could be so intense, last so long and change me as a person;
I've never felt so alone and so loved as I have this year;
The whole concept of self has changed. I seem to be no nearly as important as I used to be. Whether I am sick or tired, the show must go on;
I understand why some women choose not to have children and why others choose to have just one child. This game ain't for the fainthearted;

Layla (11 months) and I reunited after my first day back at work - happy faces all round!

If I had my time over again (and hope I will) I'd recommend:

When people offer to help, don't be proud and say no. Say YES PLEASE!;
It's ok to spend days on end sleeping;
Don't expect life to ever be the same;
Know that no matter how bad things get, it will end and things will get better. Nothing lasts forever;
If you believe in doing things a certain way, stick with it even if others think you are nuts;
Know that EVERY new mum goes through the shock that is a newborn. Most newborns don't sleep. It's all normal;
Most women struggle with breastfeeding;
If a professional gives you an opinion that doesn't sit well with you, find another professional;
Do whatever you need to do to get through the day/week/month;
There is no one right way of doing things. No matter what people say or you used to think, the way YOU chose to do things with YOUR child is the right way;
Take lots of photos, write things down and capture the moment. It'll all be over in a blink and in a strange kind of way, you'll miss the crazy emotional state of having a newborn.

For those of you who have asked, I plan on continuing my blog now that I'm back at work. I'm not sure how much time I'll get to write but I'm sure I'll find time. As we race towards the end of Layla's first year, I have learnt more than I ever imagined. I've learnt about me, my child, my husband, my family, my friends as well as gaining a new perspective in life. I think I could manage a whole post on this topic! Stay tuned ;)

If it is so natural, why can't I do this?

2011-03-24T20:08:00.000+11:00

I was speaking with a friend today who has just had a baby. I asked her whether she was breastfeeding him. She replied with a tone of guilt that even though she had tried really hard, she was unable to breastfeed and had switched to forumla. She noted that there was so much pressure to breastfeed yet not enough support for new mums and was already feeling regretful.

It got me thinking about my breastfeeding journey. With Layla turning 11 months next week and now down to three feeds a day, breastfeeding is easy and simple. It was not always this way. My journey has included several bouts of mastitis, pain issues and a baby with poor attachment. I have written previously about the battle to breastfeed and thought I would include here a few points:

Do not underestimate how difficult breastfeeding can be. While not all women have problems feeding, a fair few do. While I am now a long term breastfeeder, I must admit that feeding added to my struggle, exhaustion and depression in the early days;
Try to prepare for breastfeeding by attending a breastfeeding class at your hospital or through the Australian Breastfeeding Association;
Find a local private lactation consultant before you have your baby. If you are having problems, contact the consultant and arrange a visit as soon as possible. When I was a child, women spent 7-10 days in hospital with nurses on hand to help with breastfeeding at any time during the day or night. Nowadays, women leave hospital shortly after their milk comes in (if they are lucky!) and are faced with many of the challenges when they get home;
Call the Australian Breastfeeding Associations help line (1800 MUM 2 MUM - 1800 686 2 686 (drop final 6 from Voip phones)) at any time of the day or night for help and support with feeding. The counsellors are real mums who have been through the same ups and downs as you;
No matter how long you last, whether it is a week, a month or a year, you should be commended for the effort it takes to feed your child. No matter the decision you make, you have a beautiful child who will and does love you to bits. Breastfeeding is but once element of having a child. There are and will be plenty of other challenges and joys along the way. In the scheme of things, the time spent breastfeeding is but a moment in a childs life.

Good luck and happy feeding!

The bewitching hour

2011-03-21T10:30:00.001+11:00

Most Mums will tell you that something strange happens as the day draws to a close. Their babies and children start to go a bit feral. There is more than the normal crying, fussing and difficulties at this time. I had heard this over and over again from parents before having Layla and was well aware of the time that is often referred to as the bewitching or arsnic hour. In actually fact, while many parents could deal with an hour of difficult behaviour, this fussy period is more like several hours from 4pm onwards until bed time (which could be anytime until late!). I must admit that such an hour rarely is seen in our house. I hear your gasps.......why not, you may say. Let me start by saying that I only have one child at the moment. I know that in homes with multiple children the stress at the end of the day is significantly hightened. From the start I have employed the following tactics to deal with this difficult time of day:

By 4pm, everyone in the house is tired and had enough of the day. This includes not just your baby but also you! As such, I try to remove the stress from this time by not having any pressing chores, dinners to prepare or things to do. At this time of day, I am only focused on Layla;
It is never too early to start preparing dinner. In order to remove the stress at the end of the day, either start preparing dinner in stages first thing in the morning, try and cook larger meals so that the left overs provide another meal, use a slow cooker so meals cook during the day or ask a friend/family member to cook you dinner;
I try not to be home between 4 and 5pm. I find that if we are home, things get stressful. Even from the early days, this was always a good time to go for a walk, go to the park or see friends. With a newborn, this is a good time for you to get out of the house and get some air. The exercise is also good for you before you prepare to go to bed. Often I would be so tired from sleep deprivation but my body was not tired. A brisk walk helped to burn any remaining energy so that when I got into bed, I fell asleep quickly;
If the weather makes it difficult to walk with a newborn, I used to cluster feed Layla and carry her in the sling close to me. Sometimes she would sleep and othertimes just chill being held nice and close. The idea of cluster feeding can be intense if your baby normally takes a long time to feed, you find yourself sitting around forever and your boobs are sore from feeding. At the end of the day your milk supply is at its lowest. By feeding your baby and letting him/her sleep at the breast at this time, it is a great bonding time, fills their tummies and relaxes them. Don't worry, babies don't cluster feed for very long in the scheme of things. Just turn on the TV and resign yourself to the fact that nothing is getting done this afternoon. If you have older children, this is a good time to feed your newborn while watching them play at home or in the park;
As adults, we all have a bedtime routine. It normally consists of something like dinner, relaxation, shower, teeth brushing, reading and then sleep. While things may differ from day to day, for the most part, we follow this routine as a way of getting ready for sleep. In teaching your baby the difference between day and night, installing the idea of a bedtime routine can never start too early. This routine will be one that your baby will follow for the rest of their lives and is important to instigate early. It is a way of teaching them that each day comes to an end and that this is the time for sleep;
The preparation for bed starts early in our house. From newborn it consisted of feed, bath, feed, bed and has now graduated to dinner, breastfeed, bath, bottle, story, bed. I've written on bedtime routine in a previous post;
Some people have been surprised at the length of time I dedicate to bedtime but in doing so, I have generally avoided the frustrations and stress associated with bewitching hour/s. The afternoons belong to Layla as we prepare for bed. Considering how much stress is placed on parents when an overtired baby won't settle to sleep at the end of the day, any steps to avoid such stress seemed to me to be worth it.

Right from her first bath, Layla has always loved a warm bath as a precusor to bed
.........soooo relaxing!

There will always be times when nothing seems to work. You follow the bedtime routine but there are still tears at bedtime. All you can do is to keep going, follow the steps and work towards sleep. You need to be consistent, strong, brave and committed. You know that this baby is overtired and needs to sleep, so you need to just keep going until it happens even if it takes a long time.

But it just won't work!

2011-03-20T10:38:00.000+11:00

In my mind, most problems have a solution. Few things cannot be fixed if you put your mind to it. Diagnose the problem, consider the options, implement the solution. Problem fixed.

'What is going on?'

All of these theories were perfectly logically and accurate until I had a baby. Once I had a baby, I had problems that I could not understand, solutions that did not seem to work, symptoms that did not match problems and most of all, sleep deprivation and a huge headache. Now that Layla is rapidly approaching her first birthday, I have figured out the following:

Nothing works the first time;
There are no quick fix solutions;
Babies crave routine and consistency. You are the one to give them this even if it seems to not be working or really really hard;
If you fail, try, try again;
Any habit can be changed with consistent behaviour from the parents;
It is never too early or late to try something new. Even newborns will learn that things happen in a certain order if you consistently behave in the same way;
Routine is not about having a baby that sleeps and wakes on cue. Routine is about establishing that things happen in a certain order and are predictable for little people who are constantly being challenged by the world.

Even Pavlov's dogs didn't salivate the first time the bell was rung. Everything takes time. As a parent, the failure to see instant (or even quick) results can be difficult, annoying and soul destroying. What you need to remember is that you are having an impact (even if it is really small). Overtime, all the work you have done is establishing ways and methods that will pay off......it just takes time. Keep going......it really does get easier.

Review - the ones you loved the most!

2011-03-09T08:35:00.000+11:00

Well it's been almost 5 months since I started blogging and I can hardly believe the response. I've managed to write 64 posts with many more in draft stage just waiting to be be finished. It has been amazing to see how many people read my blog and the diverse places that they come from. I'm also intrigued by which posts have interested you the most and how many people go back to old posts for a read, review, a giggle or support. I've decided today to share with you the most popular posts so far.

1. Picking the perfect baby gift
2. What really makes an expert
3. Things to do just before baby comes
4. How to photograph your baby with brilliant results

I could never have dreamt of starting a blog without my daughter Layla.....

Then - 4 days old....

& Now - 10 months!

She has been my inspiration, my motivation and my obsession over the past ten and a half months (not to mention the nine months in utero). As Layla grows and develops, I hope that she will continue to inspire me to keep writing and posting ideas, tips, suggestions and supports for new and expectant parents. We all know how much we need each other to survive the challenges of being a parent.

Reflections on Motherhood

2011-03-06T22:22:00.000+11:00

A friend sent me a link to this You Tube video today. We both became mothers only a few weeks apart and now have the joy of watching our kids grow up together. Over the past two weeks, three of my friends have given birth to their first children. As to be expected, the early days have brought waves of joy and frustration, exhaustion and exhilaration. When I watched this video, it brought a tear to my eye. It is so try, so touching and so important. If you are a parent, make sure you support your friends and family with new babies. Call them, SMS them, drop in a meal. Let them know that we have all been through the difficulties of becoming a parent and that the difficulties do pass. Watch the video and enjoy.

My Baby Made Me Fat!

2011-03-03T22:22:00.003+11:00

I once had a woman (in her 60's and morbidly obese) tell me that the reason for her weight problems, were her children. She said with a laugh "my children made me fat. It's all their fault". It was said to me when I was pregnant and the comment has been swimming around my head ever since.

During my pregnancy I trained with a personal trainer every week and made sure I was either in the gym of doing some other kind of structured exercise until I was 36 weeks. In fact, I was walking from our house to the local shopping district (15 minute steady paced walk) and back almost every day in the last month of my pregnancy. I was extremely fearful of gestational diabetes and for this reason (along with many others) I ate well and exercised religiously. As a result, I put on very little weight when I was pregnant. I felt great and I was happy with my pregnant shape.

Given my almost addiction to exercise while pregnant, I was sure that I would pick up where I left off once Layla was born. Oh, how wrong I was. Sleep deprivation changes everything. There were some days when I could hardly walk up and down our stairs let alone contemplate exercise. I continued to walk with Layla to our local shopping district after the initial few weeks. This resulted in Layla's dislike of car travel mainly because we walked to so many places instead of driving. However, beyond walking, exercise disappeared from my life. Being home and tired, I turned to food to make me feel better. I ate when I was hungry, cold, hot, tired, bored, happy and sad. My energy levels hit rock bottom and my bottom started to look like a rock (actually make that a boulder!). I knew I had to do something. All of my efforts in keeping the weight off while pregnant had been destroyed by my lack of activity and eating habits on maternity leave. Being at home and tired presented so many reasons to eat and not move.

I looked at the calendar and realised I was going back to work in less than two months. I looked in my wardrobe and realised that none of my work clothes fit. I looked at my body and realised it was time to get moving and shift the weight.

My wonderful Mothers Group hosted a fitness talk by Jenny Dugard at about the same time as I was contemplating my situation. It gave me the motivation to address my fitness issues and make a change. I realised that as a role model for Layla and to be the best mother and wife I could be, I needed to like myself and be fit enough to juggle the demands of motherhood. As a result, I've gone back to seeing my trainer once a week and also signed up for a Mummies fitness group that meets in the evenings for group training once the babies have gone to sleep. While I still have a way to go, I've made a change and I feel better for it.

In researching what was around, I was surprised by the number of mums and bubs fitness groups that provide group training with a professional trainer while also providing child minding services. Most classes are only $20-$25 for an hour session. Classes take place in local parks and allow you to get out, exercise with your baby and not worry about watching them while you do your thing. I only wish that I had been less sleep deprived and more motivated to join once of these groups earlier.

As a mum, too often your needs come last after your children and partner. Often at that point, you have nothing left to give to yourself. My Dad has always said that the health of the family depends on the health of the mother - emotional, physical, mental health. By taking the time to get back on track, I'm giving back to myself and my family. Once the sleep deprivation clouds start to lift, why not try doing something like this for you?

Blaming your children for making you fat is that lamest excuse I have ever heard. Each one of us is in control of our own destinies. It is our own decisions that make us who we are and influence our children, not the other way around.

Links - Yummy Mummys Fitness
- Body Beyond Baby

The dreaded question - do you have a routine?

2011-02-28T11:21:00.000+11:00

I am a routined person. I love order and predictability. I like to get up at the same time, go to bed at the same time, eat the same breakfast and know what is certain in each day. As a Libran, I love balance and am always happier when things are in balance. For all of these reasons, I decided (like I was the one making the decisions) that when my baby arrived, I would have a routine for her. I read Gina Ford and Tizzy Hall on routines, I spoke with like minded mums and began memorising a daily routine for a newborn baby. The problem was that no one told Layla before she was born that we would be operating on this new routine and that she was to follow the plan I had established. She seemed to have plans of her own. For the first few weeks and early months, the routine became a burden and a desire that rarely worked. I read and re-read all the books. I talked to Layla about her behaviour but nothing seemed to work. One day I decided to sit back and watch to see what routine Layla wanted to follow. As it turned out, Layla had her own routine that I had failed to notice. From that day on, for the most part, I followed her routine. Today, Layla turns 10 months and we are definitely in a routine. Here are a few tips, mistakes, ideas and thoughts on getting your baby into a routine:

It is never to early to establish some sort of routine. While the exact times will change, having a bedtime routine is a good way to start;
No matter what the days brings, I found it helpful for my sanity and to teach Layla that every day has an end. For this reason, we have had a bedtime routine from day 1;
A bedtime routine for a newborn could look something like this:

5/5.30pm - breastfeed or bottle (half feed);
6pm - bath;
6.20pm - baby massage and pyjamas on;
6.30pm - breastfeed or bottle (half feed);
7pm - bed.

As a successful long term breastfeeder, I am all for demand feeding. Layla only went to 4 hour breastfeeds once we introduced solids. I never withheld food. If she was hungry and wanted to feed, I fed her. I have always demand fed during the day. When Layla was 5 months old I started to drop night feeds and would not feed her when she cried but rather comforted her with my voice and touch. I don't believe in a routine that restricts breastfeeds for newborns;
Follow the guidelines for awake times provided by Karitane and Tressilian. Wake times range from 1 hour to 4 hours depending on the age of the baby. When the recommended wake times were coming to an end and Layla showed tired signs, I would put her down to sleep rather than waiting for her to fall asleep with over exhaustion. This gave me approximate times so I could organise things around sleeping;
As a drawback, I've taught Layla how to sleep well in her bed but she is not great at sleeping in the car or pram (unless she is exhausted). As a result, we spend a lot of time at home. On the plus side, when it's bedtime and we follow our sleep routine, Layla goes straight to sleep with no fuss or tears(most of the time!);
No matter what the day would bring in terms of sleeping (or not sleeping), bedtime routine always starts at the same time and the day comes to an end at the same time. As a newborn, I would never wake Layla to feed after bedtime routine. This was always her longest sleep stretch and allowed me to either go to bed early, spend time with Daniel or have some me time;
I used to wake Layla as was recommended by a number of the baby whisperer routines. After a while, I stopped doing this. I came to the realisation that if she needed to sleep then she should sleep. The only time I felt justified to wake her was when she was really small and needed to be fed;
I've followed various routines and find it near impossible to make Layla sleep for the recommended times. Her daytime sleeping periods vary from 40minutes to almost 3hours with no underlying reason. The sleeping times have also changed as she has gotten older. There does tend to be a pattern that forms (Layla tends to sleep longer in the morning than the afternoon) but this often changes just when I realise there is a pattern;

My Itzbeen Baby Timer - timing how long Layla has slept for

Some days things won't work. No matter what you do, there will be days when your baby will not want to sleep. I have wasted too much energy and too many tears trying to get Layla to sleep when she won't. You need to know when to stop and go out for a walk to clear your head. Sometimes, baby will fall asleep in the pram. A frustrated Mummy is no help to anyone;
Know that any phase is just a phase. Developmental leaps, hot weather, change and unexplained things can send your routine off the rails. Just remember that tomorrow is another day and you can start again.

Despite all our ups and downs, having some sort of routine has helped me deal with the uncertainty of becoming a parent. I hope my insights have been of some help.

How Do You Wear Your Baby?

2011-02-20T21:10:00.001+11:00

The practice of baby wearing dates back centuries and is common to so many cultures around the world.

After carrying your baby for 9 months, it is to be expected that your baby will want to be close to you for comfort. Baby wearing not only lets you keep your hands free to get things done, it also has health benefits for mother and child. It helps to calm fussy babies, encourages babies to feel secure and content as well as helping mothers become more in tune with their baby's needs. Read more about the benefits of baby wearing here.

Before I had Layla, I was unaware of the benefits of baby wearing. I bought a baby bjorn carrier in order to carry her and keep my hands free as a change from having her a pram. I was reluctant to purchase a sling but was extremely grateful when my Mum bought me a Mini Monkey baby sling shortly after Layla was born.

Layla asleep at a family birthday party

Layla asleep in her sling at my sister's wedding - I think she has outgrown it now!

I used my Baby Bjorn in order to keep my hands free for shopping and when we were travelling. The additional benefits include being comfortable and easy on my back. While Layla has fallen asleep in it on numerous occasions, I rarely used it to settle her. If I had my time again, I would still buy a baby bjorn or other front carrier because they are very handy and sturdy. I recently came across another carrier by Combi known as the Magical Compact Carrier. While I have not used one, it looks very versatile offering a range of ways you can carry your baby.

My Mini Monkey baby sling is something very special. The sling created a magical environment where Layla felt close to me and was able to settle, sleep and remain calm. I used it from when she was just a few days old until only recently. I would use the sling when:

She would not settle to sleep at night, I was over carrying her and I needed to eat/rest;
At family functions when she needed to sleep;
Layla would often sleep in the sling in the afternoons for her final nap when she was little and I was tired and not up to listening to any more crying, patting or walking;
When I would leave her with my Mum and she was unsettled, the feel and smell of the sling would remind her of being with me.

Another advantage of the sling is that it is light and compact to carry so you can take it where ever you go. I miss the feel of baby wearing, the intimate connection and closeness.

If you are expecting a baby or have a newborn, look into the benefits of baby wearing. A carrier is convenient in keeping your hands free ( I remember cooking/preparing dinner with Layla in it once when I had to get things done). Wearing your baby in a sling or pouch or Mei Tai close to your body is a bit different and delivers wonderful results for you and your baby.

My sling has been one of the best and most important items in surviving the first year of motherhood. There is nothing quite like wearing your baby.

LOVE IT, LOVE IT - Mustela Foaming Shampoo

2011-02-14T14:42:00.002+11:00

There is an AMAZING number and variety of baby body products on the market. Whether you're after organic, fragrance free, traditional or new age, there is no limit to the range. Like her mother, Layla has a huge range of creams, shampoos and powders making bath time both fun and a special experience. I was given Mustela Foaming Shampoo for Newborns as a gift when Layla was born. We have used it almost everyday and after 9 1/2 months, it has not run out!

The foaming nature of the shampoo means that it is easy to rub into the hair and washes out with ease leaving no hard to remove residue. It does not sting sensitive little eyes and is hypoallergenic as well. We love this product and wanted to tell you all about it.

Layla loves her bath time - 6 months old

Ummmm....this is not what I ordered

2011-02-09T20:41:00.000+11:00

When I was pregnant I remember reading the books about sleep and routines. I 'knew' that babies are renowned for not sleeping at night and that I'd be tired as a result. As such, I wanted to make sure I was prepared, equipped and confidently trained to tackle the issue of sleep. It was my job to train my child in how to sleep from the earliest age. I got into my head that if I did all the right things, was strict and stuck to a routine from day 1, I'd have a baby who slept through the night from 12 weeks. You could say I put in my order for one of these babies......the sleeping kind.

Layla asleep in her Mini Monkey Sling with me - 12 weeks

Despite all my planning, preparation, training and confidence, it seems my order got mixed up. Sleeping has always been, and in many ways continues, to be a struggle. I have to preface this statement by saying that Layla does sleep pretty well compared to many babies I know. My approach has delivered some results with nights that do deliver large stretches of uninterrupted sleep (even if it's not a full 12 hour period). I wanted to give Layla (and me!) the gift of sleep from an early age. Unlike any other challenge life has set me, this one defies logic and will. No matter how much I want her to sleep, no matter the techniques I use, Layla is her own person who comes to things at her own time.

Sleep deprivation has been my curse. I used to be a great sleeper. I could sleep just about anywhere for short periods and feel refreshed. What I had not counted on was the effect of ongoing sleep deprivation. Days, weeks and months of not sleeping sent me mad. My tears and frustration were linked primarily with not having slept. It made me feel sick, crazed, hurt and possessed. Even when I did go to lie down, I could not sleep. If anything took away my enjoyment of having a new child, it was the lack of sleep. Nothing can adequately prepare you for it. 3am is a lonely time when you crave sleep. All you want is for the night to end just so you can press the reset button, start again and hope for a better day. Even now, at 9 months, when Layla doesn't sleep well during the day I feel cheated. I feel like I have failed. I feel frustrated and angry.

No one told me that it would be two steps forward, one step back. Illness, heat, strange locations and developmental leaps all lead to disrupted sleep. I thought that once Layla knew how to sleep through the night or knew the daily routine, she would adhere to the rules and sleep. Apparently I was wrong!

I was inspired to write this post after reading a blog post and accompanying YouTube video by Mia Freedman on her blog Mamamia where she talks with her baby whisperer about giving the gift of sleep. Sleep truly is a gift. It is a gift I had always taken for granted. Teaching Layla to sleep has been a focus, an obsession, a challenge and a frustration. If I had my time over, I'd do it all again. We have made real progress but this challenge is not one that is achieved and overcome. Everyday delivers wins and set backs. These days I'm a lot less tired, we're making progress.

For new and expectant parents, I want you to realise just how hard dealing with sleep issues really are. It is recommended that sleep training doesn't commence until your baby is 6 months old. As such, there is half a year of days and nights where sleep may become a project and an obsession. Some parents don't dwell on sleep like I have. They let their baby sleep when it wants to. Personally, I couldn't do that. I wanted some certainty. I wanted to give Layla the opportunity to learn how to put herself to sleep before she was overtired and dropped from exhaustion. At times this has meant I had less freedom, was stuck at home and endured feelings of frustration. While the frustration will be short lived, the gift should be life long. It is important to know that there is help available to deal with sleep issues beyond just reading books. You are not alone with these challenges. Nowadays I see the exhausted parents walking the streets and shopping centre that I previously never saw. People will ask you "Is she a good baby? Does she sleep?". It is the obsession of most new parents. Realise that whether a baby sleeps or not does not make them bad and is not a reflection on you. I too have to remind myself of this every time I have a sleepless night or a day of no sleeping. It may not have been what I ordered but I'm not sending this one back!

Patting, Rocking, Walking & ....... Bouncing?

2011-02-05T21:43:00.001+11:00

Layla is sick. She has been unwell for over a month now. I'll spare you all the gory details but let me tell you, there have been many special moments! With illness comes extremely unsettled behaviour. There are more tears than normal, wanting to be held all the time and extreme irritability. Along with these gems has also come a complete melt down of daytime sleeping. Every time we even contemplate bedtime, Layla has a complete freak out with absolute hysterics. This is from a child who used to just take her rabbit comforter and dummies, roll over and go to sleep. As such, I have been doing a lot of assisted settling. It has taken me back to the early days of rocking, patting and walking her to sleep when she was very small. I know that once she is better, we'll be able to work on her day sleeping and hopefully return to the good practices we had established. It seems that no one told me about the impact sickness has on babies' routines and behaviour. I know that sounds really dumb but until you have lived weeks and weeks of illness, it is hard to understand it's toll.

Rocking and patting a newborn baby one thing but doing the same with a nine month old, nine kilogram baby is something else. Layla is not only much bigger now, she is stronger and more assertive. She manages to wiggle and push me making it hard to rock her to sleep. I read of a settling technique this week that I wished I knew of months ago. Rather than walking and patting while carrying a heavy child, sit on an exercise/fit/swiss ball while gently bouncing and create a great and soothing rhythm.

I wish I would have know about this when Layla was smaller. This kind of settling is not something you want to do everyday. However, when everything falls apart and you need to get your baby to sleep, using an exercise ball as an aide is fantastic.

I bought my excerise ball from Priceline for under $20. I used it for exercise when I was pregnant and also used it when I was in labour. I've used it to strengthen my core muscles post birth and now it has come in handy in settling Layla. So many uses for such a small investment.

LOVE IT, LOVE IT : Cuddledry Baby Apron Towel

2011-01-29T21:22:00.000+11:00

I have to admit that I always wanted one of these but never got around to buying one. Today when visiting a friend, she told me how much she loves her Baby Apron Towel. She says that it so good, that it has become her standard baby gift for new mums. In fact, she is the second Mummy friend who has sung the praises of these towels. Babies are very slippery when wet and the struggle to hold onto a wet baby and a towel can be tricky. These towels are an ingenious idea. The towel attaches around your neck, keeping your hands free to pick up the wet baby and not worry about holding onto the towel.

The features of the Cuddledry baby apron towel include:

Apron-style - keeps hands free for bathing and lifting and keeps you dry
Organic unbleached cotton and natural bamboo fibre
Silky soft, highly absorbent and fast drying
Natural antibacterial properties - perfect for sensitive baby skin
Unique double-layer system with hood - draws water away from baby's skin and hair
Long and luxurious - cocoons and cuddles baby quickly dry
Safe and secure - makes bathing a stress-free, natural, bonding time

Great invention from such a simple idea!

Bundarra Bags is having a sale!

2011-01-27T22:10:00.000+11:00

One of my essential Mummy items is my gorgeous, funky, cotton tote bag. I use it all the time as a handbag, shopping bag and baby bag. I've written before about the fantastic Bundarra tote bags but the exciting news now is that they are having a 20% Australia Day Sale until 31st January 2010.

Check out these wonderful bags and add one to your collection!

Giving birth....what to do, what to expect

2011-01-27T20:39:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow Layla will be 9 months old. It has made me think about my pregnancy and her birth.

You've heard the horror stories, seen the movies and always wondered about birth. For some women it is something of complete fascination. For others it is one of complete fear. In generations past, girls saw their mothers and aunts give birth as a part of everyday life. There was less secrecy as a result. These days, modern women read books and speak to their friends to understand the mysteries of birth. For me, I wanted to know what the pain would be like and what would happen beyond the Hollywood dramatisation of sweaty screaming women. I had read all the pregnancy books but didn't feel I was in a position to understand what would happen.

Many years ago, I heard a radio interview on ABC radio with Juju Sundin. Juju is a physiotherapist in private obstetric practice in Sydney. She is one of Australia's most prominent educators in prenatal education including both childbirth preparation and holistic pregnancy fitness. Her dynamic and innovative teaching style has inspired thousands of women and men towards a rewarding childbirth experience. While it was many years before I had to tackle the issue of birth, this interview stuck with me. When I was in the later stages of pregnancy I relistened to the interview and bought Juju's book 'Birth Skills'.

Layla in my arms a few minutes after delivery

What Birth Skills taught me was what pain to expect, how to manage pain, what my body was doing and that the pain was good pain - good pain that would give me a gift of a baby. I better understood that birth was not about lying on a bed screaming. There are physical and mental techniques to make the birth easier and help the baby come out. For anyone who is pregnant, this book is a must read. It is also really important for your birth partner to read the book. I made my Mum (my birth partner) read it even though she had had three of her own children. She was sceptical at the time but after reading it said she learned a lot and better understood how she could support me.

The birth team!

Birth is but a moment in time. Even long painful labours come to an end. After all, it is the only time you endure pain and get a gift for your efforts.

The Amazing Effect of Music

2011-01-19T21:35:00.000+11:00

I love classical music. I constantly have ABC Classic FM playing in my car and in my kitchen. When I was pregnant with Layla, I would often put on my favourite classics and listen to them as I lay down and relaxed. After Layla was born, my cousin Jac gave me two copies of CDs. I took them and thanked her before proceeding to put them on Layla's bookshelf and forgetting about them. Some weeks later when Layla was having an unsettled period, I remembered the CD. One disk contained static which proved to be very valuable (see my previous blog post The Sound of Silence). The other disk contained classical music lullabies. From the moment I played this CD, it had an instant calming effect on Layla. From that night on, whenever Layla would not sleep or was upset, the classical lullabies were put on.

Recently, we went to Canberra for a weeks holiday while my husband Daniel was down there for work. Knowing the wonderfully relaxing effect the music had on Layla, I uploaded the CD to my iPod and packed the portable speakers. It was only then did I find out the name and origin of the CD. The CD is called Music for Dreaming and is a must for any new or expectant parents. As it turned out, Layla was very unsettled while we were away and the music yet again did the trick in helping to settle her back to sleep every time. There are hundreds if not thousands of lullaby CDs on the market for babies. It can be hard to know which one to chose. I can strongly encourage you to get this CD and use it with your baby. The website has a 'listen for free' feature so you can review the music before buying.I hope this CD proves to be as helpful for you as it has been for us!

LOVE IT, LOVE IT - Kaboost

2011-01-14T15:30:00.002+11:00

I came across this product when Daniel and I were in Israel last year. My cousin had one for her kids and I was genuinely excited by this innovative product. The KABOOST is a portable chair booster that suits almost any 4 legged chair. It allows your normal dining room/kitchen chairs to be elevated so that little people can reach the table with ease.

The Kaboost comes in three colours - green, chocolate and natural. It attaches to your chair and stays attached when and if the chair is moved. The Kaboost is able to hold weights of up to 136kg and is extremely sturdy.
In searching the web, it seems that plenty of international retailers sell the product and I was able to find a few in Australia too.

The Kaboost website features a demo video that shows this fabulous invention in operation.

Picking a Pram - Part 2

2011-01-13T15:24:00.000+11:00

On our recent holiday, I had the opportunity to test drive a new pram. Give the ridiculous amount of stuff I needed to bring for Layla, there was no way my pram was going to fit in the car boot. My wonderful Mum let me borrow her pram for the trip. I should add that she had just bought the new pram and had not used it yet. Despite all of this, she was more than happy to let me take it....now that's love!

Mum's pram is very different to mine in so many ways and got me thinking again about how to pick a pram. Here are some more points for you to consider:

Storage - most prams come with a basket under the seat for you to carry essential items. When picking a pram consider:

how big is the basket?
can it be accessed when the seat is in different positions?
how easy is it to get things in and out of the basket?
are there other places on the pram to carry things (pockets)?

Terrain - most prams are designed for either flat smooth surfaces (shopping centres, foot paths -- plastic tyres) or off road conditions (grass, uneven surfaces -- air filled tyres).

does the pram have plastic or air filled tyres?
which terrain will I mostly be using the pram on?
does the pram have suspension?

Weather protection - most prams have added accessories for sun and rain. Despite this, if you get caught in the rain or are out on a sunny day, what kind of protection does the pram offer?

does the sun visor come down low enough to protect your baby?
is the carriage protected from the rain by using the sun visor?

From all my point of view, there is no one perfect pram. The are prams that suit different purposes at different times. That's probably why so many Mums I know have multiple prams!

When Things Are Not So New

2011-01-12T20:56:00.000+11:00

Everyone loves a newborn baby. When I hear a friend has had a baby, I know I'm always so excited. The miracle of birth mixed with the excitement of the potential are awesome and amazing. Seeing that new face, that new person and wondering what and who they are, always stirs deep emotions within. For any new parent, the arrival of a new life is filled with excitement as well as nervousness. The journey from baby to child and onto adolescence and adulthood is a long, interesting and bumpy ride.

Before I had a child, I thought I knew what the journey would be like. I had seen friends go before me and had spent many hours nannying and babysitting. I remember my own Mum with my youngest sister Michelle. When I was pregnant, I thought I knew what was to come. I had read the books, gone to the classes, spoken with others. I had visited friends and even thought I could offer new parents advice. Despite this, until I had actually walked the road, I had no idea. Nothing could have prepared me for this journey. Even so, the path I have walked is not the same as others. Every parent and child walks their own path, takes their own journey.

When a baby is new, everyone is interested. They all want to see you, see the baby, hold the baby, smell the newness. All the attention can be lovely and at times overwhelming. What people tend to forget is that the journey continues well after the baby is just new. If anything, things get harder before they get easier.

Layla (in her Love Me Baby Wrap Me Up) and I - Week 1

For those of you with friends or family with a new baby, remember that your help and support will be needed for a long time after the baby is just new. It is so important to call, visit, bring a meal and check up on the new parents well after the birth. When Layla was 8 weeks old, my friends helped out by providing me with meals for two weeks. It came when I really needed it. When I was really tired, dealing with a growth spurt and totally overwhelmed by the experience. It was this kind of ongoing help that was most needed and most appreciated. It was these friends that truly helped me on my journey.

So remember that the journey continues well after things are new. The experience is all consuming - emotionally, physically, mentally and time. Your ongoing help and support counts for more the longer the journey continues.

Handmade Messenger Bags for Little People

2011-01-10T21:02:00.003+11:00

Being an active blogger, I love to follow the blogs of other fabulous writers. Please Eloise is a great blog and website that features the sweetest hair clips for little girls. Last week, Kate posted on her blog about the cutest messenger bags for boys and girls aged between 3 and 5. Mee A Bee features these wonderful bags for little people that I seriously could not pass up. The bags are made in Japan from stunning cottons and linens. I bought this one for Layla to use when she is a bit bigger.
As an added bonus, Mee A Bee is having a 50% sale at the moment! Just include the voucher code of USAGI50 at the check out for this huge discount.

Enjoy!

Picking the perfect baby gift

2011-01-10T14:38:00.001+11:00

The arrival of a new life into the world is the most precious present of all. Despite this, a tradition exists to buy gifts for the baby when it arrives. The baby product market has exploded in recent years with the range of baby things you can buy increasing exponentially. We were blessed with so many wonderful and generous gifts on Layla's arrival. Based on our experience, I thought I'd put together a post on great baby presents to help well meaning friends and family as well as expectant parents when they get asked "so, what can we get you for the baby?"

Practical - the best gifts by far are the practical ones. Be it everyday jumpsuits, funky new style wraps like the Love Me Baby Wrap Me Up, bibs or baby body products always come in handy. These are the things that actually get used day in and out. Pick a good brand and buy what you can afford. It is better to buy one good thing that many cheaply made products that either won't last or are not soft on the baby's skin. There is a growing trend towards baby registries. While it may seem a little weird at first, it can take a lot of the guess work out of buying baby gifts;
Clothes - clothes always come in handy. A few tips - if you are buying a bigger size for when the baby is a little older, don't forget to forecast what the season will be once the baby gets to that size. I have some really nice winter clothes in size 0 that would fit Layla now if it was not summer! If you want to buy a special outfit, these are always welcomed. The problem is that all too often, babies only get to wear these special outfits once or twice as not many occasions arise for dressy baby clothes. In my mind, clothes that can be worn any day are the best gifts. Don't forget handmade gifts can also be a wonderful present. Knitwear from Shnookies is a fantastic practical gift that given the quality, can be passed down to subsequent children;
Books - books never go out of fashion. Whether you chose board books, picture books or detailed stories for years to come, they will all come to good use. It is also a good idea to buy books for the parents. Chose a book like The Wonder Weeks which will come in handy as the baby grows or a cook book like Annabel Karmel's first purees;
A gift for Mum - the person who is often forgotten when bubs arrives in Mum. After all, she did all the work! I love to buy presents for my Mummy friends especially when they have second and subsequent children. Presents such as hand creams, massage vouchers, Mummy baby totes or jewellery are always well received;
Other children - when a new baby arrives, sometimes the older siblings can feel left out. Gifts such as new crayons and paper, a new book or small toy are great ideas as they help the parents by occupying the older siblings during the early days;
Meals - there is no better gift than making the new family a meal or two. Trying to organise shopping and cooking when there is a new baby around can be extremely difficult. This gift is always welcome, whether it is in the first week after coming home or when the baby is going through a growth spurt/developmental leap and sleep is at a minimum;
Baby gym / toys - these will always come in handy no matter the age the toy is designed for. Look for educational toys Lamaze or Tolo for great products;

Layla playing with her toys - 4 months

Feeding - when received I thought these were odd, it turns out that gifts like bibs, baby cookbooks, cutlery and food containers all eventually come in handy. Don't be scared to buy gifts for the months ahead rather than just newborn centric products.

I hope these suggestions are helpful when chosing the right baby gifts. I'm sure there are things I've forgotten and would love to receive your comments. Happy shopping!

Interesting study - Cankles and baby weight loss

2011-01-08T14:37:00.000+11:00

During my pregnancy, I was very active. I put on minimal weight and did not suffer from fluid retention. After Layla was born, I was shocked to find that I had developed cankles, swollen feet and legs and obvious fluid retention. Layla was not a big baby but in reflection, was quite puffy after her birth. She also took a number of weeks to regain her birth weight, longer than the Community Health Nurse thought was acceptable. Both the fluid rentention and the loss of birth weight were two issues that still perplexed me some 8 months on. That was until today!

Baby Layla - 1 day old

I read an article published in the academic journal 'Pediatrics' that attributes fluid rentention in mothers after birth and loss of weight in babies to excess fluids being given during labour. The IV fluids can cause babies to take on additional fluids which are then lost after birth giving the appearance of significant weight loss. More info can be found here....

What did your cankles have to do with your baby's weight loss? Source: http://www.breastfeeding.blog.motherwear.com/
Did you have 'cankles' after you had your baby? Could you make dents in your waterlogged feet? And did your baby have higher than normal weight loss in the first few days postpartum? If so, you may be interested in this.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/peds.2009-2663v1?papetoc

Reflection on Change

2010-12-27T21:33:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow Layla will be 8 months old. Eight months ago, my life changed forever. As I was putting Layla to sleep tonight, I found myself thinking about how things change and also stay the same. Every night for the past eight months we have followed the same bedtime routine. Yet the baby I put to bed tonight is so different to the baby I brought home all those months ago. Then she was so small and fragile. We hardly knew each other. Everything was new. I didn't know how long she would sleep, was unsure when she needed to feed, whether she was full or hungry. My body had changed and was continuing to change. I had become a Mother and my child was fully dependant on me for her survival.

Layla - only a few minutes old

Now eight months on, we know each other. We have a routine. I know Layla's signals, her cries, her noises. While I'm still breastfeeding her, Layla knows how to feed herself finger food and is showing her independence more and more everyday. I know eight months is not eighteen years. There are plenty of changes and challenges awaiting us in the weeks, months and years ahead.

Layla - almost 8 months

What today really made me think about was change. On reflection, I can hardly believe how much we have been through and how much change we have dealt with in such a short period. One of my favourite sayings is that "this too, shall pass". When things are bad, you need to know that this too shall pass, things will get better and another change will come. When things are good, you need to know that this too shall pass, you need to enjoy the joys for they will not last forever.

When Layla was really small and I was having problems, people would tell me that these dramas would end and that she will only be small for a very short amount of time. At the time, my vision was clouded and I saw no end. Now I look back in amazement at how right they were. It was hard to enjoy the early days and appreciate how quickly life changes with a baby. Then she was so tiny and frail. Now she's so chubby and happy. Then, I had nearly no idea what I was doing. Now I feel more confident and feel in tune with my child. It's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are sleep deprived and being challenged by a crying baby. What you (and I) need to remember, is just how quickly things change and that every challenge is to be enjoyed and relished. It'll all be gone before too long.

Do I Really Need to Buy All That Stuff Now? Part 2

2010-12-26T21:41:00.000+11:00

Since I posted Part 1 of this series, I've given the topic some more thought. Now is definitely the time to stock up on your baby stuff with sales in most stores here in Australia and around the world. Here are a few extra things that you may not need or use in the first few weeks but will come in handy shortly after.

Baby Gym - these things are a great place for your baby to lie and play right from the start. They also provide a nice, soft and stimulating space to practice tummy time. Pick one that has plenty of colour and overhead beams where toys can be hung off. There is a huge range of styles and makes available. Layla used hers amost everyday until she was over 6 months;

Layla playing in her baby gym - almost 5 months

Bouncer/Rocker Chair - I bought a simple bouncer for Layla and found it to be invaluable. From an early age, she would sit in the bouncer while I ate my breakfast, tidied up and generally when I needed to have my hands free. She used it until she was five and a half months and able to sit on her own. While I had a simple bouncer, if I had my time again, I'd have bought a chair that had an inbuilt vibration mode and a rocking function. It would have been invaluable when I could no long rock Layla during unsettled periods;

Layla having fun in her bouncer - 6 weeks

Toys - while toys are not essential right at the beginning and tend to be given as gifts, having a few educational toys from companies like Lamaze are great for entertaining your new baby;
Nail file - baby's nails grow incredibly fast! Even now I struggle to keep Layla's nails in order and stop her from scratching herself. I bought nail scissors and clippers but found them difficult to use due to her tiny nails and that she never kept still in order to use them safely. Instead I have used a nail file and a manicurists nail buffer to keep her nails short;
Nappy / Washing Bins - the number of nappies and outfits a baby goes through each day can be staggering. In order to keep things in order, we bought two simple white flip top bins - one for clothes and one for nappies that we empty each day. There are other more expensive options but this one worked for us.

I hope these suggestions help you in preparing for the arrival of your new baby. Jas x

Packing your bag for a trip like no other

2010-12-22T21:48:00.000+11:00

There comes a time, in every pregnancy, when you realise that the little being growing inside you, has to come out. I know it seems obvious, but most women have that moment of fear. With most women choosing to give birth in a hospital, the time when you decide to pack for your trip to hospital truly cements the realisation that you will soon become a parent.

Daniel, Layla and I in hospital - Day 1

Packing for hospital is not like packing for a holiday but rather is like packing for a career change. There are certain clothes, tools and equipment that will be necessary to make your stay comfortable and successful. Here are my tips for what to take to hospital:

Clothes - in most cases, you are not going to hospital because you are unwell. As such, there is no need to spend the days of your stay in your pyjamas. I remember when my Mum had my youngest sister Michelle. In those days, women spent their days in bed in their nighties. Oh how things have changed! Take enough changes of clothes for at least one fresh change per day. A couple of extra pairs of pants and tops may be needed especially if you accidentally leak during the day. Pick soft and comfy clothes that you can sleep in during the day if you get a chance to have a nap;
Underwear - you'll need more than one change of undies per day. Given the bleeding that occurs after birth, it's best not to take your best lacy lingerie. Much better to take some cheap, plain, black and comfy undies that can be discarded if they get stained;
Bras - as your milk comes in, your breasts will change. If you intend to breastfeed, you'll need a feeding bra where the bra cups can be dropped down for feeding. Getting the size right can be tricky. It may be best to take a half top style feeding bra that is comfortable to sleep in and feed in. I picked up a cheaper one from Target as well as an Elle Macpherson Maternelle bra that were really comfortable in the early days. Once your milk comes in, you may need to purchase a bra more suited;
Pads - you'll need to bring sanitary pads with you. Choose the thicker maternity style pad which will offer padding if you end up having to have stitches. Bring a couple of packets with you. You should also bring some breast pads with you;
Toiletries - don't ask me why but I packed toiletries as if I was going on a resort holiday. Needless to say, I never got a chance to give myself a full facial! Pack the things that will make you comfortable during your stay. Most women don't wear perfume in hospital due to the sensitivity of your baby's nose and not wanting to mask your smell that the baby will come to know. Remember to take some Lansinoh with you for your nipples. Earplugs are also a good idea if you want to get some rest in a noisy shared room;
Slippers - slippers are a good idea to wear around the ward. Thongs would also do;
Pyjamas - bring pyjamas that you can breastfeed in. There is nothing glamorous about having to strip off in a hurry to feed your crying baby in the middle of the night. Button through tops are convenient as are pyjama pants and a feeding singlet or maternity nighties like the ones sold by Loveable or Hot Milk;
Feeding singlets - these singlets have an inbuilt bra or support with drop down cups. They are great when you are learning to feed and are comfortable to wear without a bra either for sleep or in the early days. I swear by the Loveable Maternity Essentials range;
Labour bag - you may want to pack a separate bag for labour that includes snacks, stress balls, clothes to wear (like a big t-shirt), music, essential oils and camera. I also had some amazing socks from my friend Susan. They kept my feet warm as the room was heavily air conditioned and had rubber soles, great for gripping when pushing;
Camera and phone - to capture those precious moments;
Coming home - clothes for you and the baby to come home in are important. The first time I dressed Layla in her own clothes rather than the hospital nighties was a really special moment;
Pen and Paper - always comes in handy;
Panadol - even though you are in hospital and there are plenty of drugs on hand, having your own stash of panadol comes in handy when things get busy in order to ensure you maintain some level of pain medication all the time;
Watch/Clock - you'll want and need to write down when you feed your new baby in the early days. Knowing what the time is at different times of the day and night is important. You can use your phone if you prefer;
Names list/book - if like us, you don't have names picked out, you may need to have further discussions once bubs arrives.

Leave me a comment if I have forgotten anything. Best to have your bag packed at least 4 weeks out from your due date. Personally, I left it to the last minute. Probably was due to my disbelief that I was about to have a baby!

Do I Really Need to Buy All The Stuff Now? Part 1

2010-12-20T21:41:00.000+11:00

So you've walked into the baby shop just to have a look. Everywhere you turn there are colours, shapes and interesting items you've never seen before. Lucky enough, most stores have a handy check list of all the things you'll need for baby. The problem is that the list is SO long and to purchase everything right now you'd need to stay at work for another 9 months just to save up. You ask yourself "Do I really need to buy all this stuff right now?"

Layla coming home from hospital......so little and cute!

In short the answer is NO. There is very little that you need right away when bubs arrives. I put together my basic list of things I think you need for the first few months that you should buy before bubs arrives. If you have time you may be able to hunt things down in sales or on Ebay in order to save a few dollars.

Sleeping :

Cot/bassinet - the choice of whether to have baby in a bassinet in with you or a cot in his/her own room is a very individual choice. If you go for a cot there are generally two sizes - standard and large;
Swaddles - whether it is muslin or a one of the new style wraps (Love Me Baby Wrap Me Up - see previous post), these are important;
Bedding - options include sheets, blankets and sleeping bags.

Changing:

Change table/mat - whether you chose a dedicated change table or a mat on top of a chest of drawers, having a place to change baby is important. Pay attention to the height of the change table as one that is the wrong height will place stress on your back as you spend significant time bending over. Also having a table with sides may be a bit safe as it will help prevent baby from rolling off the table;
Nappies/wipes/creams - very individual choice over disposable or reusable, which creams and wipes. You may change many times once bubby arrives.

Feeding:

Breast:

Breastfeeding pillow - while not essential can be very helpful. Make sure you take it to hospital with you when you're getting used to feeding;
Lansinoh - pure lanolin that you can use on your nipples while feeding without having to remove;
Breastpads - I like the Pidgeon disposable pads because they are thin and less noticeable under your clothes but again this is an individual choice;
One handed squeezable water bottle - really helpful to keep your fluids up while feeding;
Feeding bra - your breasts will change as your milk comes in. Initially chose a soft bra that you can feed and sleep in;
Feeding singlet - like one made by Loveable or Bonds are really helpful when you're in hospital and learning to feed.

Bottle:

Bottles/teats - very individual choice. I use the Tommee Tippee 'Close to Nature' range but I know many lactation consultants recommend the Pidgeon peristaltic nipples;
Formula - very hard to get any advice on which formula to chose. Speak to your friends and Doctor;
Sterilser - I have a microwave one but an electric sterilizer would be better if you regularly have to prepare bottles;
Bottle brush

Travelling

Car seat / capsule - I received a car seat from a friend but if you plan on having your newborn in and out of the car regularly I'd recommend a capsule. Layla hardly ever goes in the car so a car seat has been fine;
Pram - see my blog post. Such an individual choice depending on what and how you want to use it;
Nappy bag - can be expensive. I got mine online from the USA much cheaper. You can also use a large tote style bag with an organiser inside (http://www.bagorganiser.com.au/);
Clothes - you'll need clothes to bring baby home in. You may get clothes as gifts but if not start simple. They grown quickly and go through clothes very quickly. I preferred to have lots of white as it can be bleached very easily and always look nice. People told me not to buy 0000 clothes and go straight to 000. Problem was that Layla was a little baby who took quite some time to regain her birth weight. I think I even had a 00000 jumpsuit for the first month. Layla stayed in 0000 clothes for the first 8 weeks or so.

Home

Night light - available from hardware stores, these little lights turn on when it gets dark and are helpful for use in corridors when you're up at night. A nightlight like the Tot Spot (see earlier post) is also helpful;
Lamp with a dimmer switch - useful when tending to baby during the night;
Baby bath - I got mine off Ebay for a steal that had hardly been used. We use our bath every night as a part of our bedtime routine. Having a bath on a stand with a hose to empty the bath makes bath time easier;
Bath & room thermometer - Avent makes a great thermometer that can be used in the bath and also tells the room temperature. This ensures that baby is comfortable in the bath and bed;
Foot stool - A simple little stool from the kids department that is generally used for kids to stand on is handy to elevate your feet when feeding. I got mine from K-Mart for $10;
Baby towels - hooded towels are nice for babies but you can use just any towel;
Old fashioned cloth nappies - really helpful in cleaning up messes from nappy changes, to posset and spills;
Heating/Cooling - depending on the season and the temperature in your home, you may need a fan or heater to make sure your baby is comfortable;
Baby monitor - you only need one if your house layout is such that you can't hear the baby from other rooms;
Feeding chair - having the right chair to breastfeed in is really important. It is important that the back is upright, your knees are at 90 degrees and arm rests can also be important;
CD player - I got a cheap one with an iPod dock. It has been great to play nursery rhymes, lullabies and white noise in Layla's room right from the beginning;
Baby sling - my Mum bought me a sling and it became an invaluable piece of equipment to get Layla to settle on the days that seemed to never end. I'll do a post on slings soon!

I have another couple of posts in this series that I hope to put up this week. The next posts will detail what to take to hospital and some extra things to have at home when baby arrives home.

If I've forgotten anything, please feel free to add a comment to this post.

Let's talk about parenting taboos

2010-12-20T15:23:00.001+11:00

I stumbled across this link and video today on a talk by Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman on parenting taboos. It is a funny and very poinent clip for all new and expectant parents on a topic many of us don't like to talk about.They expose 4 facts that parents never, ever admit -- and why they should. Funny and honest, for parents and nonparents alike.

http://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos.html

I particularly liked Rufus' comment that becoming a parent is like getting on a plane, having packed for a trip to Europe only to find that you are actually going treking in Nepal. There is nothing wrong with treking and in fact it is a great adventure, but it isn't a trip to Europe....oh so so true!

I hope you like it as much as I did. Jas x

LOVE IT, LOVE IT - DIMMA

2010-12-19T08:39:00.000+11:00

When it comes to night time feeding, it is generally recommended to keep light and noise to a minimum so as to avoid excessive stimulation of your baby in teaching them the difference between day and night. When I was setting up Layla's nursery, I looked everywhere for a nice and affordable lamp that had a dimmer switch for use at night time waking and feeding. I had no luck and was running out of time. I set my sisters the task of helping me find the elusive lamp (we work well as a team when it comes to finding things each other needs). My sister Jacqui came to the rescue with a recommendation from a colleague.

IKEA makes a device called a DIMMA. It is a simple and cheap ($19.95) attachment that fits almost any lamp. The DIMMA allows you to dim the lamp with a simple sliding switch that can be used with your hand or your foot (great when you have your hands full with a sleeping baby).

This simple device has been a wonderful addition to Layla's nursery and has made a huge difference. I hope you find it as useful as I have.

The Things No One Told Me #2 - Milk supply

2010-12-16T20:00:00.002+11:00

One of the key concerns of most breastfeeding mothers, is having enough milk to satisfy their baby's appetite. There are plenty of old wives tales about things to avoid in order to preserve your milk. I remember my grandfather (definately not an expert in breastfeeding) telling me that I had to make sure I didn't eat too much salt and definately not to lift my arms above my head as both things would result in the loss of my breastmilk. Needless to say, neither activities resulted in the loss of my milk.

When I went to the Doctor with Layla to have her two month immunisations, he mentioned to me that in the coming week or so I should expect to notice changes in my breasts and not to worry. He was right! From 8 weeks, your breasts may no longer feel hard and full when you're ready to feed. The reason is that feeding becomes easier and more efficient. Your breasts become softer and the 'fuller' feelings become less. These changes are normal and are not indications that your breast milk production is becoming less but rather that your breastfeeding has now been well established. Many women panic when these changes occur and think that they are losing their milk or that their supply is insufficient to sustain breastfeeding. I'm sure I must have read about these changes somewhere before Layla was born but I had forgotten. Thank goodness my Doctor had reminded me otherwise I too would have panicked. Should you have any concerns about your breastfeeding make sure you seek assistance from you Community Health Nurse, Lactation Consultant, Doctor or Breastfeeding Counsellor from the Australian Breastfeeding Association.

THANK YOU!

2010-12-15T13:38:00.000+11:00

Over the past few weeks, I have run into a number of old friends either in person or on facebook. I have been delighted to hear how many people love reading my blog! From new mums to expectant mums as well as girls who have no baby plans right now. It is so lovely to know that people actually read what I write and find it useful. You've given me a new energy injection to keep writing.
Thank you SO much. Watch this space - there's more to come.
Jas x

There Are Going To Be Bad Days

2010-12-14T22:03:00.002+11:00

Over the last week, we've had a number of bad days. I've been thinking about writing this post for the past week and contemplating what makes a day 'bad'.

Before I had Layla, I had bad days. Bad days were normally the result of a bus that didn't come on time, forgetting toiletries or clothes at home when I went to the gym, a flight being delayed on a work trip, getting an unexpected bill, having a disagreement at work, dealing with a difficult work matter or being stuck in traffic. Some of these things were caused by my actions but many things were out of my control. The things that were within my control often required better planning, more patience or acceptance that things don't always go to plan.

When Layla came along, I found out that bad days continued to exist. Bad days with a baby normally involve poor sleeping, poor eating and crying. Unlike the bad days I used to have, I often don't know why a day turns bad. Despite doing everything the books tell you or keeping to the same routine you have been following for weeks, some days things just don't work. The days you need your baby to sleep, she decides not to sleep resulting in an overtired and irritable baby. The days you need to go out and do things, she decides to sleep all day and your plans fall by the wayside. I remember hearing a podcast where an expert of sleep said that parents want their children to have their best day sleeping experiences every day. I smiled as I am one of those parents. I crave order and routine. I like to know what will happen next. I like to plan my day and week and then tick things off the list. A baby changes things......everything!

What I've realised is that when a day turns bad, it often is not bad for Layla but rather it is bad for me! I'm the one who had plans or really needed to have a sleep. I'm the one who is frustrated. I'm the one who has to rearrange my day. Layla rarely has a bad day. Sure, she may have a day when she is overtired or doesn't want to eat, but generally she is a happy child.

Layla having a wonderful time in her new play pool at home in the garden

The most important thing I have learnt is that tomorrow is another day. No matter how bad today is, tomorrow will be better. And if tomorrow is no better, then the next day will be. Some days just need to come to an end and need to be forgotten. When 5pm comes around and Layla's bedtime routine begins, I know that the difficulties, frustrations and craziness is about to end. I just need to get through feeding, bathing and bottle and then it will be 7pm and bedtime. This has always been the way. Even when Layla was very small. Sometimes it took longer to get her to sleep and I'd have to put her in the sling with me until she settled, but once she was asleep, I could put the day aside and hope tomorrow would be better. I often have to remind myself that tomorrow will be better and that all the frustration I feel is because I didn't get my way rather than Layla being to blame. Children teach you a new level of patience and acceptance. I've had many bad days over the past seven and a half months, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. The good days when Layla does something new or just cracks up laughing for no reason cancel out all the bad days and makes it all worth while.

POSTSCRIPT - After posting this blog post I was thinking about what I had written. I decided I needed to add one more point. My ability to see through the bad days now at 7+ months is very different to how I felt at 2 or 3 months. There were days when I could not see through my tears and I thought that the frustrations and sleep exhaustion would never end. There were days when no matter how sweet and cute Layla was, all I wanted to do was be somewhere else. My ability to deal with my frustrations and handle bad days with Layla have developed over time. It takes time! For new mums or expectant mums reading this post, know that the bad days do end, that things get better and that this is the hardest job you'll ever do. Hang in there and the sun will shine again! Jas x

The Things No One Told Me # 1 - Day 3 Feeding Frenzy

2010-12-09T10:37:00.001+11:00

Morning all! This series of posts is based on the things I discovered the hard way and wish someone had told me either when I was pregnant or when my baby arrived.

I read all the books and thought I was prepared.

Oh how wrong I was!

This post is dedicated to Lior and Michael who welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world yesterday. Mazel tov!

On day 2 or 3 after you give birth, your baby gets hungry....really hungry! If you are breastfeeding, your milk is yet to come in but is on it's way. This sudden burst in hunger is due to your baby's tummy and gastro-intestinal tract now having been emptied of all the mucous and amniotic fluid that was sitting there from the womb. Your baby's stomach size also increasing in anticipation of milk feeds that are about to arrive. The feeding frenzy is the way your baby helps your milk come in in order to start your breastfeeding journey.

I'm sure I read this kind of information when I was pregnant and it was discussed in our parenting/birth classes. While I was aware, I really didn't know! When people talk of a feeding frenzy, they mean it. Your baby will want to feed every hour or two, all day AND night. By the time the morning of our fourth day arrived, I was a wreck. After a long labour and two nights of broken sleep, the feeding frenzy knocked me for six. I remember my obstetrician coming to see me the morning after our night of constant snacking. I told her that if Layla wasn't so cute, at that stage I was ready to give her back (oy, if I only knew then what was to come)!

So what can you do in order to prepare? Ultimately, what your baby is doing is helping you (as ridiculous as that may seem). The constant sucking is what helps bring your milk in. There may be no way for you to be well rested before the feeding frenzy begins nor to hold off feeding in order for you to rest. I found that having my Mum or husband there to take the baby out of the room and walk her while I rested and slept even for 1 hour made a big different. Babies are very noisy sleepers and as a new Mum your ears are tuned to react to every little noise they make. By not having them in the room even for 1 hour, you may be able to recoup a little bit of sleep before the next feed. The feeding frenzy also has a tendency to cause grazed nipples. Constant feeding and poor attachment when you're really tired can do serious damage to your nipples. All I can recommend is to attend the breastfeeding classes offered in hospital, get the hospital lactation consultant to see you and apply lansinoh after EVERY feed.

Seven months on and I still remember the feeding frenzy with vivid memory. Even at the time I recall thinking "Why didn't anyone tell me about this?"

Good luck !

All the stuff you need to carry

2010-12-07T22:30:00.003+11:00

Before Layla, I could easily just grab my wallet, phone and keys and walk out the door. These days, I feel like I'm moving house every time I go out for a walk. My baby bag is always overflowing with 'just in case of emergency stuff. Now that Layla has started solids, I also have to pack an ever increasing number of snacks to keep her occupied and satisfied.

When it comes to baby bags, the variety and price ranges are extensive. You don't want a bag that's too small or otherwise you'll never fit the things you need. You also don't want a bag that's too big or you'll find it weighs down your pram and you can't find anything. Here are a few ideas on nappy bags:

I bought my Skip Hop bag online from the USA. It retailed here for $150+ and I managed to get it for under $US60 delivered. Try the USA based online retailers. Either have it shipped directly or use www.hopshopgo.com for easy and cheap delivery;
Forget a dedicated baby bag. You can use any large bag as a baby bag. I great idea is to use a fun tote. My hugely talented sister Michelle makes and sells stunning cotton totes that are machine washable and very practical. Check out her range at www.bundarra.etsy.com. Here are a few of her current range. I love them all and wish I had them all hanging in my wardrobe to match my daily outfit and mood;

If you want to use a tote or large bag, getting a bag organiser can be helpful. Have a look at www.bagorganiser.com.au and check out the caddy which would work really well in a tote. The caddy ensures you can find your baby essentials without having to rifle through things creating a huge disorganised mess;

Another idea is to carry a zippered pouch with the essential nappy changing things (nappy, wipes, creams) inside your nappy bag that can easily be transferred into your handbag or pram for quick outings.

Happy travels!

Love it, Love it - Dinky Kids Portable Highchair

2010-12-06T11:12:00.001+11:00

The world of solid foods is both exciting and so very very messy. Whereas I used to complain about breastfeeding in public, feeding solids (or should I say mush) when not at home is also a challenge. Not everywhere has highchairs and trying to hold a 7 month old while feeding her is near impossible.

Here is a product I found which is just so very great. The Dinky Kids Portable Highchair is a restraint that attaches to most chairs and acts as a super compact highchair. Made of cotton, it is easily washed and folds up into a tiny bag that will fit inside your nappy bag.

I bought mine on ebay (new) from Dinky Kids for $18 and have since seen similar styles from other conpanies both online and in baby stores (for a lot more). This style appealed because it had shoulder straps in order to restain any baby keen on moving. I used mine just the other day when I was out having coffee with my sister. Layla didn't want to sit in her pram but rather wanted to join the ladies for tea! This way, she was able to sit with us, safely on a chair and enjoy her snacks while we chatted....perfect!

The Dinky Kids Portable Highchair is suitable from 6months old assuming the baby is able to sit by herself unsupported.

Could we pop over? Dealing with visitors at home

2010-12-02T13:58:00.000+11:00

This post is both for new and expectant parents as well as all the well meaning friends/family who ask to drop in to see you and the new baby.

If, like me, you restricted the number of visitors you had in hospital following the birth of your baby, then once you go home, people will want to come over to see you. Having visitors can be a bitter sweet experience. While on one hand you want to show off your bub and see your friends, you also would like to be sleeping when the baby is sleeping rather than entertaining. Here are a few tips on having visitors over once you go home from hospital.

Picking a time can be difficult as initially you won't know when the baby will be awake or asleep. Pick a time but don't be afraid to change the time if it does not suit;
If you've had a bad nights sleep, there is no harm in rescheduling visitors;
Don't be shy to excuse yourself in order to go to sleep while your visitors are over. If your partner is there, he/she can keep entertaining the guests. If you are alone, don't be embarrassed to ask them to leave (in the nicest possible way);
Try to keep visits short where possible;
There should be no pressure to hand the baby around for cuddles. Especially with your first baby you may not feel comfortable in playing pass the parcel. If someone asks and you would rather not, just tell them that the baby is due for a feed shortly and is likely to get grumpy if passed around;
Ask all visitors to wash their hands when they arrive in order to minimise germs being passed onto your little bundle;
If someone arrives to visit and they are unwell in any way, don't feel shy to ask them to come back when they are better. The last thing you need is a sick baby.

Here are a few tips for visitors:

Don't come empty handed. While a gift for the baby is always welcomed, bring some food for the parents. This may be dinner, lunch, a snack. You may even wish to bring a bag of fruit and veges. Bring some sushi or fruit salad and yoghurt, some nuts or cake;
Don't come and expect to be entertained. If you see something that needs to be done, do it! Wash some dishes, fold some washing, hang out wet washing, take out the garbage;
Don't stay long. Limit your visit to 1/2 hour in order to avoid being asked to leave or overstaying your welcome;
Make a meal and drop it off to the new family without staying. A call or SMS to notify that you have dropped dinner at their front door is normally enough;
Call before you come to visit. Even if plans have been set, a quick call before you leave home will help;
If the new parents make you food (coffee, tea, cake) wash your own dishes or offer to help tidy up. I always said no when people offered but secretly wished they would have done so;
Call or SMS to check how the new parents are going. Don't expect them to answer the phone, return the message or SMS. Just knowing people are checking up on you is the nicest thing.

I'm sure there are more things I could add but I'll leave it to you to add your thoughts and comments. Just remember that a cute little baby is a handful of work. Entertaining visitors once your baby arrives can be a difficult task. Be kind to yourself and remember that your health and well being come first. As for well meaning friends/family, think of how your visit can help the family in order to make the experience a good one.

It's 3am, baby's crying/feeding again, no one is awake, what do I do?

2010-11-26T12:11:00.001+11:00

The hours between 2am and 4am are very lonely hours. Prior to having a baby, I used to spend those hours sleeping or in my much younger years out on the town (aaahhh!).

While some babies bless their parents by sleeping through from an early age, many (inlcuding mine) do not. Being up at all hours of the night to feed and resettle can be difficult, if not soul destroying. There was many a time when I found myself sitting up to feed Layla, in the winter night cold, feeling very low and sad.

When would she sleep through?

Why was she awake?

Was she really hungry?

How long would she feed for?

Will I be able to get back to sleep?

When will she wake again?

Is this normal?

All the sleepless nights were well worth it!

I found that having someone to talk to provided comfort and reassurance. I used to SMS other new Mums at all hours as I knew that they'd be up struggling with the same issues. Other than your late night Mummy friends, there are a number of 24-hour help lines that operate in Australia, especially designed to help parents just like you. It is ok to cry to them, ask the burning and sometimes silly questions and seek support. Receiving conflicting advice can be very difficult when your baby is small and for this reason, it is important to remember that you are the expert on your child. The people on the end of the line may have some helpful advice and can offer support when everyone else is asleep. The numbers can be found on the back of your blue book but I've included them here as well:

Karitane Mothercraft Society 1300 CARING (1300 227 464)

Tressilian Family Care Centre 1800 637 357 (Sydney metro area 02 9787 0855

Australian Breastfeeding Association 1800 MUM 2 MUM (1800 686 2 686) [Optus phones drop the final 6] . This help line is manned by breastfeeding counsellors who are breastfeeding Mums. They operate 24 hours a day and are happy to take calls during the night. Given that they are also Mums, it's a good idea not to call them in the middle of the night to ask a question that could wait until the day.

Tressilian also now offers an online live help service (Tressilian Live Advice) through Facebook. Search for Tressilian Live Advice and add the application to your Facebook page. The service is only available during the day but can be very good for gaining advice when your baby is asleep and you want to keep things quiet.

Getting to do the simplest things

2010-11-25T10:08:00.003+11:00

It is truly amazing to realise how much time it takes to care for a baby. From feeding to changing, nappies to settling, all the free time you once had seems to disappear. Trying to get the simplest things done can be a monumental challenge. Here are a few tips on using your time effectively in order to get the simplest things done:

As soon as baby goes down for her first sleep on the day, brush your teeth. I know this sounds like no big deal but time can easily slip away before you realise it's 2pm and you have not got around to brushing;
A friend with 5 children (soon to be 6!) once told me that you need too get dressed as soon as possible after waking. This applies even if you plan on going back to bed when baby sleeps. It seems strange to dress and then get back into bed, but it can be done. This way you'll be ready for visitors or getting out of the house at a moments notice;
It is never too early to start making dinner. Meal preparation needs to be broken down into small disjointed steps so that you can stop and start when you have time. Dealing with onions and garlic first thing in the morning can be a little tough but so can soiled nappies. You'll get used to it!;
Make double portion meals. It takes no additional time to cook double quantities but will save you cooking tomorrow. If you're not into leftovers, you can always freeze the additional food for next week;
Invest in a slow cooker. There are heaps of easy and quick recipes for slow coookers that can be put on first thing in the morning with nothing further to do until you sit down for dinner that night;
I always used to shower in the mornings before heading off to work. Since Layla's arrival, I've switched to night time showers. I find that if I shower after she goes to sleep, I can take my time and enjoy some relaxing 'me' time before bed;
Lists, lists, lists. Sleep deprivation has a nasty effect on your memory. Start making lists so that your remember the things you need to do. Position paper and pen in a number of locations (kitchen, baby's room, next to your bed, next to where you feed) so you can always jot down ideas or things to remember wherever you are;
An oldie but a goodie is to sleep/rest when baby sleeps. It can be hard and frustrating to get into bed, be falling asleep and then be woken by a crying baby but anytime you can find that allows you to rest (and hopefully sleep) is well worth it.

I'm sure there are plenty of tips from other Mummies on how to get the simplest things done. Post a comment to share your tips.

Love it , Love it - Love Me Baby Wrap Me Up

2010-11-24T10:00:00.000+11:00

We all know the importance of swaddling a newborn baby. By wrapping a new bub, it makes her feel secure as if she was still in the womb. A problem arises when hands get lose or your baby does not want to cooperate during the wrapping process. This is where this amazing product comes in handy.

The Love Me Baby Wrap Me Up is a fantastic swaddle solution that ensures your baby stays swaddled when sleeping. Layla slept in hers every day and night until she was 5 months old when I stopped swaddling her. She knew that when I put her in the Wrap Me Up, it was bed time. They wash and dry easily and also allow for baby to go into her car seat without having to take off the wrap. I love them so much that they have become a staple gift for all my friends with new babies. I would have been lost without the Wrap Me Up. I have piles of muslin wraps that I never used as nothing was as effective. I tried other swaddle solutions but found this to be the best.

Love Me Baby - Wrap Me Up

Their website blurb explains everything....

"WRAP ME UP is the original & innovative first swaddle, that allows your baby to sleep in their natural position, with their arms up.

When swaddling, don’t deprive your baby of access to their hands. Swaddled babies who have access to their hands can settle better and sleep longer

Super fast and easy to use. Most importantly WRAP ME UP helps your baby stays wrapped all night long! Even dad will be a wrap expert!"

http://www.lovemebaby.com.au/

Love Me Baby has just released a new Organic Wrap Me Up in white and beige (so chic!) and has announced that as of 14th December 2010, a new version of the Wrap Me Up will be available in stores. The 50/50 will have removeable 'wings' so that you can transition your baby out of the swaddle into a sleeping bag....brilliant!

Hospital Visitors

2010-11-16T12:57:00.001+11:00

Many years ago, I used to get very excited about going to visit friends in hospital after the arrival of their new baby. It seemed like such a privilage to be able to see this new little life. What would it look like? Who would it look like? Would it be awake or asleep? Would I get to have a cuddle? What should I take - gifts or food? Then one day my opinion of hospital visits changed forever.

We went to see one of my husband's cousins shortly after the birth of her first son. When we arrived, we were excited to learn that another one of his cousins had also recently given birth and was in the same hospital. What luck - two babies in one visit! We proceeded to find the cousin and surprise them with a visit. We knocked on the door and went in. What we saw next changed my mind forever about hospital visits. There she was, sitting on the bed looking exhausted. Her new baby son was hungry and crying for food. She was trying to breastfeed this tiny new baby and was having no luck. There she was with her boobs hanging out, red eyes from crying, a screaming child. Her husband also looked like he had been hit by a truck and had been lying on the floor trying to get some rest when we arrived. It was at that point that I realised the time a women has in hospital after giving birth is a private and important time. It is a time to start bonding with her baby, a time to learn about breastfeeding and a time for parents to come to terms with their new role. I also realised that my insatable need to visit was all about what I wanted and not much about what was best for the new Mum.

When Layla arrived, Daniel and I had already decided not to have visitors. We restricted visitors to immediate family only. Within half an hour of giving birth, I had 8 family members plus Daniel, Layla and I in the delivery suite....wow....full on! By day two of just family visiting, I said enough. My room was very small and I became overwhelmed with all the people coming and going. In the end I further restricted my visitors to by husband and my Mum.

Layla (2 days old) deep in thought

Always remember why you are in hospital. You are there to rest and recouperate, to learn how to establish breastfeeding and bond with your child. You're not there to entertain. If you were, we would give birth in a restaurant or function centre!

The decision as to whether to have visitors or not is a very individual one. With the joys of modern technology, an SMS and email can be sent with photos of your new arrival which should satisfy many. Over time when you are feeling up to it, you can have visitors pop round to see you at home. I know of some women who prefer to have all of their visitors in the hospital so that when they get home they can restrict guests. No matter which you chose, remember to make your decision based on what is best for you. Everyone else will understand. There is no shame is saying "sorry, no visitors". It is very important that you learn early on how to put your needs first at this time. Make sure to discuss what you want to do about visitors before you give birth so that you can advise family and friends in advance.

All the things you're not supposed to do

2010-11-15T10:00:00.001+11:00

It's amazing how many things you are not supposed to do with a new baby. The books, professionals and experts all advise on the things you should not do. This list includes some of the following:

don't rock your baby to sleep as they'll become dependant on you;
don't offer a dummy as it acts as a sleep crutch and will prevent self settling;
don't breastfeed your baby to sleep as he/she will only ever be able to go to sleep this way;
don't take a baby to bed with you as you may roll on top of the baby and suffocate it;
don't leave a baby to cry as it will have long term negative effects on it's emotional development;
don't go to your baby when it cries straight away as he/she will learn that you'll always come running;
a baby should not need to be fed more than X number of times in a day or before every 2/3/4 etc hours.

What you realise once your baby comes along is that you need to do what you need to do in order to survive. Forget the things you're not supposed to do. Rocking your baby to sleep or breastfeeding to sleep so that you too can get some sleep is not a bad thing. Giving a sucky baby a dummy will not be the end of the world. Doing these things now and then will not form a habit. Even if a habit is formed, babies are amazing at being able to change their habits with a little guidance and training from you.

Remember, you're not being marked on this assignment. It's ok to do things in order to get through the tough times. When you are less tired then you can confront any issues and make changes. Until then, just do what you have to do that is right for you and your baby.

The exciting journey into first foods

2010-11-12T10:00:00.001+11:00

Over the last month or so, Layla and I have started the exciting journey into first foods. I remember receiving bibs and cutlery as baby gifts when Layla was born and thinking that the introduction of solids would be a long way away. In less than the blink of an eye, here we are with solid foods featuring in our everyday routine.

Layla (7 weeks) blissed out after a breastfeed. The thought of solids was a long way away.

Good quality wholefoods have always featured as an important part of my shopping and cooking vision. Creating fun, wholesome and low GI food has been a guiding principle for me since I established my own home. I've always seen cooking as one of my creative outlets even when my energy levels faulted. As a kid, my Mum always made sure we ate good food and the evening meal was family time together. Most nights we ate as a family on the kitchen bench, discussing the adventures of the day and bonding as a family. Meals were always diverse in flavour and origin. We were encouraged to try new things and get involved in food preparation. Now that I'm faced with raising my own child, I want to make sure that meal times are fun and healthy creating a wonderful start in life.

I must admit that when Layla was born I had given very little thought to what I would feed her. I assumed that I'd follow my general food principles. What has become apparent is that a child's tastes are formed during the first years of their lives. As such the example we set as parents is oh so important. For that reason, we have decided to avoid added sugars and salts as well as junk foods from Layla's diet for as long as possible. I cook most of our meals at home and only rarely do we eat out or get take away. As such the next logical step for us was for me to prepare Layla's meals rather than resorting to commercially prepared foods.

Preparing baby food has come along way from rice cerial and mashed bananas. Our freezer is filled with ice cubes of amazingly diverse foods that Layla is enjoying and I am taking pleasure in seeing her explore good food. Here is how I got started:

My friend Alizah sent me a great book by Annabel Karmel that has really helped with the introduction of solids, helped me get creative and understand how to move into this new world. Her book "New Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner" features over 200 quick, easy and healthy recipes for your baby. Great baby gift that is much more helpful than another jumpsuit! In addition, her website http://www.annabelkarmel.com/ has heaps of great recipes and ideas;
My former colleague and good friend Susan has a wonderful blog called My Little Yummy Tummies (http://www.mylittleyummytummies.blogspot.com/) where she features fantastic recipes for not only kids but the whole family. Her recipes are easy and healthy, avoiding additives and preservatives;
I listened to a wonderful podcast from New Moms, New Babies which featured a woman from the USA based organic food company Happy Baby Foods (http://www.happybabyfood.com/). She discussed how to make your own home made baby foods. I then went onto their website to see what food combinations they had which in turn got my mind racing. Some of the combinations they inspired include sweet potato and pear as well as spinach, mango and pear. Both have become Layla's favourites;
The website www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/ has also provided me with great ideas and recipes as well as www.kidspot.com.au/best-recipes ;
www.wholesomebabyfood.com/ is a great site that considers all different types of foods, when to introduce them, how to prepare them, the nutritional benefits as well as recipes for each food type;
I looked at the range of foods from Organic Bubs (http://www.organicbubs.com/) for ideas on what foods to combine in making interesting and healthy food for Layla. Their range is really interesting and fun. They have a e-newsletter available on their website that features great information on meals and nutrition;
Another great podcast from New Moms, New Babies discussed the idea of baby led weaning where instead of giving babies purees, they are given real whole food to experiment with and learn about. Since milk still provides babies with most of their nutritional needs during their first year, by letting babies experiment with food they self feed from an early age developing a better understanding of food. I was so interested that I bought the book! It arrived today and can't wait to get into it. Details of the approach can be found at http://www.baby-led.com/. Download their free booklet on how to let your child dictate their first introduction to food [www.baby-led.rhgdsrv.co.uk/pdf/blwleaflet.pdf ] . I've started by giving Layla wholemeal toast in the morning as a part of her breakfast as well as apple and carrots to gnaw on before her teeth break through.

So far our journey into first foods is going well. Everyday is a new adventure. What is most important is that we're having fun as you can see from the photos!

Layla at 6 1/2 months loving her dinner and enjoying helping to feed herself

I hope the resources in this post help to get you started. Making baby food is not only healthy, but it's fun, easy and much cheaper than buying commercially available products. This way you know exactly what your baby is eating and it helps you shape their tastes and palette for life.

No Outfit Is Complete Without a Handbag

2010-11-11T10:00:00.002+11:00

Many of us know that a great handbag can complete an outfit. A handbag is also of great value to make sure that you have all of your necessary goodies with you when you need them. Like any other young lady, Layla never leaves home without her handbag.

Layla's handbag full of her essential travel goodies

My wonderfully creative sister Jacqui made Layla a small drawstring bag from super cute teddy bear fabric that has become known as her 'handbag'. This special little handbag accompanies Layla in her pram wherever we go. Since we live close by to a major shopping district, we tend to walk rather than take the car. As such, Layla spends plenty of time in her pram and needs to have her special things on hand. Her handbag is filled with all of her essential travel goodies - dummy, rattles, teething rings and rusks as well as her favourite 'hello' book. The handbag's drawstring ribbon also provides hours of enjoyment!

Layla's handbag is packed and ready to go!

Drawstring bags are easy to find in shops like Mr. Tablecloth or from sellers on http://www.etsy.com/ at reasonable prices. By having such a bag filled with baby's special things, I never find myself out without an essential item. The bag stays in the pram and is always ready to go. Layla has learnt how to help herself to her goodies and looks to make sure her handbag is with her whenever we head out.

Why not put together a handbag for your little person and make sure you're never caught without essential entertainment when you're away from home.

The Battle to Breastfeed....Are You Ready?

2010-11-10T10:00:00.006+11:00

I'm yet to meet a Mother who does not want the best for her child. Most pregnant women I know want and plan to breastfeed their babies. The natural process of breastfeeding is rarely discussed by professionals during pregnancy with few first time mothers really understanding the demands that breastfeeding will place on her emotionally and physically. Dealing with changes in hormones, exhaustion from labour and the exhilaration of becoming a Mother is overwhelming enough without adding the additional demands of needing to establish breastfeeding.

Layla (4 days old) and I. Both of us looking a bit tired and worn out already!

While breastfeeding is the natural way to suckle a child, it needs to be learnt by both Mum and Bub. This can take time, trial and error. The days spent in hospital are supposed to be spent learning the fine art but in all honesty there is not enough time to truly get the hang of it. From cracked and grazed nipples to engorgement and leaking as well as attachment issues, the art of breastfeeding is not always glamorous. Having your breasts exposed while a nurse tweaks, pushes and prods is a unique and not always welcomed experience. Many women are unable to breastfeed or find it all too hard ted to switch to formula before the WHO recommended 6 month mark. There was many a time when I too felt like throwing in the towel. I'm not going to bore you with the details of my ordeal (yes it has been an ordeal) but I will say that 6 months on, we are still feeding and finally enjoying the experience.

When I first started to have feeding issues I was shocked and amazed at how many women disclosed the problems they had had once I started to discuss my dramas. Breatsfeeding is emotionally and physically draining yet the demands of breastfeeding are rarely discussed with expectant mothers. Why is it that breastfeeding problems are kept such a secret?

If you are pregnant and wish to breastfeed, here are some tips to help you prepare for the 'challenge':

Attend a breastfeeding class while you are pregnant. We had a small component of our parenting classes devoted to breastfeeding but it was not nearly enough. Most hospitals run classes as well as the Australian Breastfeeding Association. HIghly recommended;
Find the name of a good lactation consultant and have the number handy for when you go home. Some LC also run classes for pregnant women;
Find out whether there is a community lactation consulant (read 'free') in your area that you can drop into see either at the hospital or your Early Childhood Centre;
Join the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA). They do great work and can offer a lot of assistance. They have also have a free support line manned by Breastfeeding Counsellors who are also breastfeeding Mums - 1800 MUM 2 MUM / 1800 686 2 686 (Optus phone lines drop the last '6');
The ABA has a great online breastfeeding forum which is a really good place to discuss breastfeeding issues;
Take a tube of Lansinoh cream with you to hospital. This pure lanolin cream is essential for maintaining good nipple condition and is safe to have on your nipples while breastfeeding;
Buy a breastfeeding pillow and take it to hospital with you;
Discuss breastfeeding with your partner and family.Make sure they are supportive as you will need their support when and if the going gets tough;
Put some disposible nappies that have been wet lightly into the freezer. They will act as wonderful cold packs on your breasts when your milk is coming in and if you run into any pain issues;
Buy a wheat pack that can be heated in the microwave as heat can be important in helping the milk let down;
Buy a squeezy water bottle that you can operate with one hand. It's important to drink plenty of water while feeding. Having a bottle you can sqeeze and not having to fiddle around with lids can be really helpful;
Make sure you have a good chair to feed in. You'll be spending a lot of time in the chair so make sure it works. The back needs to be upright and arm rests can be really helpful;
Get a small foot stool. I got a plastic one from K-Mart kids department that is normally used for kids to stand on while they brush their teeth. The foot stool will let you elevate your feet and knees which helps with positioning and attachment, especially in the early days.

Breastfeeding can be both a wonderful and an awful experience. While things have now settled down for me, some of my darkest days were due to feeding problems. Ultimately I was not prepared for what was involved and hope to spare others the problems I had. Saying that, I also have a number of friends who have had no problems at all with feeding. Good luck with your breastfeeding journey - I hope it is a wonderful bonding experience for you and your child.

Love it, Love it - Totspot

2010-11-09T10:00:00.020+11:00

As a new parent, I have and continue to spend a lot of time awake during the middle of the night. Whether it is searching for lost dummies or checking if the baby is asleep, fumbling around in the dark is neither fun nor glamorous.

I received this gem of a freebie with an order from Nursing Angel (http://www.nursingangel.com.au/) last year and almost threw it out without realising its value. The Totspot is a non-invasive LED light that won't wake a sleeping baby. It can be clipped onto your top so that you can attend to the baby and see what you're doing all at the same time. The light has a rotating pivot head so that you can position the light away from sleepy eyes - both yours and bubs.

The Totspot is currently on sale for $9.95 from Nursing Angel and is a must for new or expectant parents. http://www.nursingangel.com.au/p/510310/totspot-portable-night-light---clearance.html

I leave mine on the bookshelf at the entrance to Layla's room so that it's handy at any time in the night. It's funny how something so small can be such a big help. Love it, Love it!!

Made by hand with love

2010-11-08T10:00:00.012+11:00

It could be said that your baby was hand made with love by you.

Freshly Made - Layla (4 days old)

While there are an endless number of fantastic and beautiful childrens products available, nothing really beats a hand made product, individually made with love. It can be difficult to find such beautiful things unless you know where to look. I am blessed to have very creative sisters and a fabulously creative Mum. Layla is a very lucky girl to have received stunning handmade toys, a quit, clothes and a wardrobe full of funky and cute knitwear.

Me (8 months pregnant with Layla), my Mum and my sister Jacqui at one of my Mum's Shnookies Knitwear Parties

Layla (6 months) sporting a new stunning knitted vest courtesy of my super talented & creative Mum

If you're looking for where you can find beautiful hand made creations for your hand made creation take a look at:

http://www.etsy.com/ : US and global sellers of hand made goods and supplies;
http://www.madeit.com.au/ : Australian based sellers of hand made things;
http://www.mathildasmarket.com.au/ : markets that only sell hand made goods. They are on facebook and will send you updates on their next markets. My Mum hopes to feature her Shnookies knitwear at the markets in 2011 (http://www.babyshnookies.blogspot.com/ ). Very exciting!

Layla (5 months) - the Shnookies Supermodel!

Where do you like to buy special hand made goodies from for your little ones? Leave a comment and share your secrets.

Things to do just before baby comes

2010-11-07T10:00:00.004+11:00

Most women realise the value of stopping work a few weeks before their baby is due. Whether it is due to exhaustion, pain or legislative requirements, the break is usually welcomed. If you're anything like me, I was hanging out for the break and then bored 5 minutes after it started! I ended up running around doing so many things that I really did not rest enough. Oh how I long for those days of being able to sleep in, take an afternoon nap and just dream the day away.

Pregnant with Layla - 34 weeks

Anyway, if I had my time again these are the things I would do just prior to bubby's arrival:

Have a hair cut, colour, waxing, facial, manicure/pedicure, massage and any other beauty treatment you usually indulge in;
Make time to see your friends for a quick catch up;
Stock the freezer with a few emergency meals;
Speak to your friends to work out who can and will cook you a meal in an emergency (actually forget the emergency. just cook for you!);
Buy a new pair of running/walking shoes. This will be great motivation to get you out of the house and walking;
Finish organising the baby's room, your hospital bag and a bag for the baby with stuff you'll need to bring him/her home;
Spend some quality time with your partner. Go for dinner, movies, a walk. Make special time;
Buy any gifts and cards for up coming birthdays in advance to save on worrying about these things;
Attend a breastfeeding class at the hospital, with a lactation consultant or the Australian Breastfeeding Association;
Have some nice photos taken of you with a very pregnant belly. It won't take long before you forget how you looked. Even if you are huge, swollen, tired and generally not looking your best, you will treasure these photos in years to come;
Try to have an afternoon nap EVERYDAY. You never know if you'll go into labour in the middle of the night or have a long labour. Make sure you are well rested.

Me pregnant at 38 weeks with my sisters Jacqui (centre) and Michelle (right)

What other things would you recommend? Leave me a comment to help expectant Mums.

Does this baby come with an instruction manual?

2010-11-05T10:00:00.003+11:00

My Mum has always said that children don't come with an instruction manual. If this is true, then why are there SO many books written about babies and children?

When I first found out I was pregnant I remember going to Borders and standing in the pregnancy and new baby section. I was gobsmacked as to the number and variety of books. I remember leaving empty handed and completely confused. When I told Mum of the pregnancy, she instantly went out and bought half the books on display at Borders that had bamboozled me! I read all of the books she bought (plus the ones I subsequently bought) and began to study up on the little being growing inside me. As my pregnancy continued, I started buying baby books in anticipation of the imminent arrival. Again, I started reading and getting ready for Layla's arrival. Given my academic and professional background, I was following the logical path of studying before commencing any new challenge. I wanted to be ready, to know what to expect, be 'fit' for the race I was about to run. Despite all my reading, I still have and continue to come across challenges that no book has prepared me for.

A small selection of my baby & pregnancy books

I recently asked my wonderful Mummy friends to tell me about their favourite Mummy things so that I could include them on my blog. My friend Deb gave birth to the gorgeous baby Ava 7 weeks after Layla's arrival. Deb's advice was not to read all the baby books. She says:
"I would suggest to new parents not to read all the textbooks!
You learn more about parenthood through experience, trial & error than getting frazzled about what the textbooks say you should be doing. Stay cool and go with the flow!"

I completely agree with Deb's comments but that did not and has not stopped me from regularly buying and reading baby books. Ultimately the books are only advice and opinion. As per my post on being an expert, you are the ultimate expert on your child not the author of the book you just read. The books nevertheless provide you with guidance, ideas, solutions and confusion that are all necessary on this journey. When you are at your whits end having tried EVERYTHING, it is only natural to seek information that may work and end the nightmare.

Given my extensive library, I thought I'd share with you my favourite books that I regularly consult:
1. General : Baby Love by Robyn Barker. Great overall guide reference book.
2. Routine: Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. If you think you want to do the whole routine thing, this is a good place to start. It is less intense than Gina Ford's books but follows a similar theme. Remember your baby is not a robot and may not conform to the prescribed routine. The book will help you get organised and figure out how to structure your day;
3. Development: The Wonder Weeks by Hetty van de Rijt, Ph.D. and Frans Plooij, Ph.D. (see previous post - LOVE IT!)
4. Labour: Birth Skills by Juju Sundin & Sarah Murdoch. Great book to prepare you for labour. It's hard to know what labour will be like and what to do. This book is a great guide and really helpful for natural birth (with or without drugs);
5. Food: New Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner by Annabel Karmel. A gift from my friend Alizah that has been fantastic in the past month.

Given my appetite for books, I have found that http://www.booko.com.au/ is a wonderful way to find the cheapest price for books from across the world.

Got favourite book? Have an opinion on baby/pregnancy books? Leave me a comment and share your thoughts.

What Really Makes An Expert?

2010-11-04T16:46:00.000+11:00

[This post is for a pregnant friend you was bamboozled by an expert yesterday and is stressing]

When I was pregnant I began to realise that there is an excessive amount of information available about babies.

Whether it was books, blogs, shops, pamphlets, goods or services, the baby industry is massive.
As my pregnancy progressed and since Layla's arrival, I have read countless books on babies and children (I have a blog post coming on books!). Many of these books are written by so called EXPERTS. Their expertise is drawn from the medical profession, their own children or their years of helping parents in need. Many offered helpful advice, conflicting information, scary consequences and more knowledge than I could process based on their expertise. When things went 'wrong', I was the first to turn to the expert lactation consultants, mothercraft nurses, parents help lines, authors or doctors for the answer.

Layla with her books - aged 4 months

What I have now come to realise is than I AM THE EXPERT on my child. I spend more time than anyone else with her. We have been practically inseparable since conception. All the information out there is great advice but deep down no one knows your child like you. Read everything, listen to everyone, seek advice and then make your own decision on what is best for your child. Don't doubt yourself. Even on the day you give birth to your child remember YOU are the mother and YOU are the expert.

The Sound of Silence

2010-11-04T10:00:00.004+11:00

Getting and keeping a baby asleep becomes an obsession for most new parents. Whether it is lighting, temperature or noise, there is a strong focus on making the environment conducive to sleep. Perhaps it is sleep deprivation sending us around the twist that makes this focus so intense.

Layla (2 days old) asleep with Daniel in hospital

When it comes to noise, the pursuit of silence is often misguided. Babies are used to hearing and sleeping with a range of noises while in utero rather than in complete silence that as adults we often crave. One of the most annoying noises to an adult is that of radio static. You know the one where you have not properly tuned the radio and a hissing noise is heard. Amazingly this static sound is wonderfully calming for babies especially when they are distraught and inconsolable. This kind of noise is often referred to as 'white noise'. White noise helps to block out general noise like traffic, construction and gardening noise that always seems to start just as you go to put your baby down for a sleep.

There are countless CD's, iPhone apps and MP3 player downloads available featuring white noise to help your baby sleep. The one I found that really worked features white noise with a faint heartbeat in the background that emulates the sounds of the womb. The track can be downloaded for FREE from this link...

http://cantonbecker.com/music/white-noise-sleep-sounds/mp3s.php

I burned the track multiple times onto a CD so that it ran for a couple of hours...worked a treat!

Have you had success with using white noise to help your baby sleep? Share your experiences by leaving a comment.

But darling, I never pay retail!

2010-11-03T10:00:00.002+11:00

Let's face it, kids stuff is CUTE! There are amazing things available for babies and children. There are more things than you'll ever need, you'll ever be able to use or you can afford to buy. That won't stop you wanting to shop! The good part is that many, if most, things you can pick up online are far cheaper than retail. If you're into bargain shopping (like me!), here are a few ideas:

1. Sign up for sale email notifications. Here are a few links to get you started:
http://www.kidsconfidential.com.au/
http://www.mumsgrapevine.com.au/
http://www.kidstylefile.com.au/

2. Find out if your local baby shop has a discount or loyaly program. For example Baby Bunting gives 5% discount if you join their loyalty program. Baby Village in Bondi Junction gives you a $30 discount after you've spent $300.

3. Ebay is your friend! Ebay can offer you many alternatives.

Many ebay stores sell baby stuff for cheaper than retail. I bought my Phillips Avent Baby Monitor brand new for a fraction of the RRP;
People sell unwanted gifts on ebay. I found my Baby Bjorn really cheap. It was a brand new unwanted gift still in the box;
I'm generally not a lover of used goods especially when it comes to baby things. However there are some exceptions. I bought our baby bath and stand on ebay for $25 instead of over $100. BARGAIN!!

4. Shopping in the USA is way cheaper than here. The variety, prices & sales far exceed what you can find locally. Many sites now ship to Australia and even with the shipping costs, things often work out cheaper. If a site won't ship to Australia, USA based freight forwarders will send things onto you in Australia for reasonable shipping charges. Check out http://www.hopshop.go.com/ or http://www.ishop-america.com/ .

Layla looking adorable in some of the clothes I bought online from GAP in the USA

5. Find baby good sellers on Facebook and either join or like their pages. This will mean you'll be notified of pop up sales and great opportunities. Purebaby has a Friday Facebook sale each week with great bargains.

Happy shopping !

The Wonder Weeks - the answer you've been looking for

2010-11-02T10:00:00.002+11:00

After reading all the books, you think you know what to do when things don't go as you expected. The reality is that most books are only guides rather than instruction manuals. There are times when you've tried everything but nothing seems to be working. You've fed the baby, burped the baby, rocked and patted, walked and even contemplated taking the baby for a drive. Still your baby won't settle. You're tired and frustrated and the sound of your crying baby can take you close to the edge. The mistake here is that we often forget what our new baby is going through herself. Babies go through such massive changes that can be both scary, confusing and challenging for them.

When Layla was 8 weeks old, my parents were overseas and nothing was working. Layla was waking to feed every 2 hours through the night, night after night. I was emotional and exhausted. In my desperation, I turned to Google. My search delivered a book which has changed my life and outlook on my child's development and behaviour. What I learned was that Layla was dealing with a mental leap that was challengin her, hence the change in her behaviour.

The Wonder Weeks by Hetty van de Rijt, Ph.D. and Frans Plooij, Ph.D. scientifically predicts fussy periods based on your baby's mental development as they face the 8 (now 10!) predictable leaps.

The blurb from the website says:
Ever wondered why your baby drives you crazy during certain times? And that, no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make him happy or comfort him? Or , that he doesn’t eat well; doesn’t sleep well? Have you ever thought – based on your child’s erratic behavior - that there’s something wrong with your parenting skills? The Wonder Weeks explains this all, based upon decades of scientific research.

There is a new edition of the book out now (from end of October 2010) that includes 2 additional leaps taking it from 8 to 10.

The book is available here in Australia but I found it to be a bit pricey and hence cheaper to order from overseas. Check out http://www.booko.com.au/ for the best price. The book explains each leap as well as offering parents signs to look out for and activities to help your baby as they face each challenging period.

Their website http://www.thewonderweeks.com/ features a newsletter email alert subscription where you are sent an email just prior to your baby reaching the next mental leap so that you're prepared for an unsettled period. There is also an iPhone app available from the website.

When all else fails, I turn to this book. It gives me peace of mind when I feel that things are starting to unravel. It's just wonderful!

How to photograph your baby with brilliant results

2010-11-01T09:00:00.002+11:00

The world of amateur photography has changed significantly since I was a child. No longer is there the single carefully compiled baby album but rather digital cameras, computer, memory cards and USB sticks filled with countless photos of our precious bundles. Digital photography means we take so many more photos than we used to. There is always the hope, that the all elusive 'perfect' shot is gained the more we snap away.

I was recently listening to an episode of the podcast 'New Moms, New Babies' on how to photograph your baby that featured the acclaimed professional photograper Nick Kelsh. Nick is one of the America's leading experts on baby photography. Nick is the author/photographer of nine books including Naked Babies with Anna Quindlen, How to Photograph Your Baby, How to Photograph Your Life, and The Sense of Wonder by Rachel Carson. He has appeared on Oprah! and The Today Show multiple times. His photographs have appeared on several of the covers of the prestigious Day in the Life series and in dozens of major magazines.

In the podcast, Nick offers the following tips on how to photograph your baby:

Parents have the best access to their babies and as such should make better photographers than professionals. You know when they are at their best, most relaxed and ready to be photographed;
Pick a day/time when your baby is well rested and happy to be photographed;
Pick a location where there is plenty of natural light. Photos are best taken in the morning or afternoon rather than at midday when facial shadows can be unflattering. Take photos near open windows and doors that let the natural light flood in;
Turn your flash off;
Pick a plain background. Put up a sheet or use a blank wall so that items in the background don't ruin a great photo;
Get in really close, closer than you may usually get so as to fill the frame with your baby's face, body or both;
Keep clicking. Take heaps of shots in the hope that one of them will be really special.

Taking Nick's advice, I set up a photo shoot of Layla the other day to mark her 6 month birthday. Here are a sample of the results.

I took over 60 shots with my point & shoot Canon IXUS 110 IS and am so happy with the results. I now plan to replicate the shoot on her monthly birthday so I can capture how she changes from month to month.

Nick has a great website at http://www.howtophotographyourbaby.com/ as well as a facebook page http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=lf#!/how.to.photograph.your.baby

The 'New Moms, New Babies' podcast can be downloaded from iTunes or their website http://www.newmomsnewbabies.com/

Anne Gedes also has some great tips on photographing your baby http://www.babycenter.com.au/advertorials/anne-geddes/tips-for-taking-photos/

The question remains as to what we do with all the great photos we now have of our darlings. Some people use digital photo frames, others keep photos hidden on their computers, some prefer to print and frame their photos while others use them as phone or computer wallpaper. Personally, I'm working on a photo book for Layla of her first year. I plan on using the photos I've taken together with text I've written that captures my memories of the day she was born, coming home from hospital, our first months at home getting to know each other and all the exciting milestones to come such as her first tooth, crawling and walking. There are plenty of online providers that can help you put together photobooks of your child. I've included a few links taken from my google search to get you started.

www.harveynormanphotos.com.au

www.bookroom.com.au

www.snapfish.com.au

www.momento.com.au

www.clickonprint.com.au

www.photobookaustralia.com.au

(Note: I have not used any of these companies and cannot recommend their products.)

Good luck and happy snapping!

Picking a Pram

2010-10-31T13:18:00.002+11:00

Pram choice is about as controversial as discussions regarding politics and religion. Everyone has their favourite brand and model, their reasons and their regrets. Ultimately, you don't really know what you need in a pram until you have the baby and for most people, they want to be organised before bubs arrives.

I'm not going to go into what you should look for in a pram except to say that you should clearly know what you want to do with your pram before you buy. Do you want to:

take long walks;
run or jog with it;
only use it in the shopping centre;
how often will you be putting it in and out of the car;
do you want baby to sleep flat in the pram;
do you want to be able to carry more than one child if you decide to do the whole pregnancy and birth thing again?

Layla when she was 1 week old asleep in her pram in our kitchem

When you think you know what brand you want, make sure you stop every Mum in the shopping centre to ask her what she loves and hates about her pram. Hear first hand what the market is telling you before you make your choice. Ultimately you need to go for practicality and functionality as your pram will be really important in getting you out of the house once bubs arrives.

Buying a pram is a big investment and something you only really want to do once. If all else fails and your choice doesn't suit, don't forget that there is always Ebay.

How big is big enough?

2010-10-30T22:44:00.001+11:00

Many breastfeeding Mums I've spoken to express a concern about their baby's weight gain at some stage, whether it be after leaving hospital or much later down the track. We often assess our children against the growth charts that appear in the 'Blue Book'. Layla took over 4 weeks to regain her birth weight and during that time there was a lot of pressure on me to either stop breastfeed or to supplement with formula. Even after she regained her birth weight, her weight gain was slow. In saying that, I have to ask now, was her weight gain slow in relation to the wrong measure?

Did you know that the World Health Organisation (WHO) has release revised charts for breastfed babies? Have a look at this great article from the Australian Breastfeeding Association with links to the WHO charts and tables.
http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/weightgains.html

As you can see from her photos, there is no longer an issue of slow weight gain! 26 weeks on and we're still breastfeeding.

Can fashion and breastfeeding really mix?

2010-10-28T21:57:00.000+11:00

Before I had a baby I had not given any thought to breastfeeding fashion. Nowadays, whenever I look at clothes, I'm overcome by thoughts of "hmmmm....could I feed in that top/dress/outfit?"

Trying to find nice and reasonably priced breastfeeding tops is no small task. I found that the style choice was limited and generally the prices were way too expensive. Target and KMart keep some simple styles but not a great range.

I've come up with a couple of solutions:
1. Milkshirts - these funny looking singlets allow you to turn any top into a breastfeeding top. They allow you to lift your shirt in order to feed without exposing your post pregnancy tummy to the world. http://www.milkshirts.com/ is the webpage from the USA but they can be ordered here in Australia from http://www.nursingangel.com.au/.

2. Motherwear - this USA based online store specialises in nursing clothing from dresses to tops and pyjamas. Not only are their prices very reasonable, they have GREAT sales and ship to Australia for a reasonable rate. With the difference in seasons between here and America, you can easily pick up a bargain. They have a great size and colour range as well. http://www.motherwear.com/

Productive Podcasting

2010-10-28T15:05:00.000+11:00

Being a new Mum involves heaps of time alone. Often you'll be home alone with bubs or walking. I have found a way to fill the time - Podcasts!

iTunes has heaps of great podcasts that are interesting, educational and informative. My favourite by far is "New Moms, New Babies". This podcast from the states is like a mothers group for your ipod. They discuss all different relevant topics associated with having a new baby. They also feature authors and medical professionals on issues I have found to be really helpful. In addition, they've also helped me find wonderful new websites or given me ideas that I've been able to apply with Layla. They have a website http://www.newmomsnewbabies.com/ where you can also download the podcasts or listen directly.

Guided relaxation and mediation podcasts are also a really good way to unwind after a trying day when you're dead tired or your mind is racing a hundred miles an hour.

Night Time Leaking Problem Solved

2010-10-28T14:34:00.001+11:00

I've recently gone back to giving Layla a dreamfeed between 10 and 11pm. In order not to fully wake her, I don't change her nappy. As a result, we had a few night time disasters with nappy leakage through her clothes, grobag and sheets. I've tried a number of things including:

fluffies pilchers - old favourites. They are good but you can only buy them online and can get expensive plus as summer roles around they are going to be too hot;
trying the next size nappy - worked for a while but no solution;
nappy liner inserts - had to buy 200 of them online. Worked well but were very bulky.

The solution has been Pampers' Baby Dry Nappies. You can't buy them in the supermarket as they are imported European Pampers nappies (the ones in the supermarket are from the USA). I have no idea how they work but they are brilliant. They are super thin and super absorbent. The other night I fed Layla twice without a change and still no leaks.

They are available from http://www.pampersnappies.com.au/ . For $10 you can get a trial pack in whatever size and nappy type combination that suits. Delivery is included in the $10!

The website blurb says....
"Designed to help give your baby undisturbed sleep, Pampers® Baby-Dry has the Extra Sleep-Layer™. It's an extra layer of protection that helps lock wetness away for up to 12 hours. So your baby gets the sleep he needs to develop. With correct sizing you will never need to worry about leaks and bed wetting during the night!! "

I ordered my box on Tuesday night and they were delivered to my door Thursday morning...brilliant!
Great find ;)

Keeping track of time

2010-10-28T12:23:00.000+11:00

Whether it is due to sleep deprivation, exhaustion or brain fade, keeping track of when your baby last fed, how long your baby has been asleep or when you last gave medication can be an onerous task. While some parents like to keep a written record, I found that the Itzbeen baby timer has been my best friend since Layla arrives. My husband likes to call it the 'Itzgone' as I'm always asking him "have you seen my Itzbeen?"

The Izbeen Baby Care Timer was developed by a new mum and dad who found themselves sleep-deprived and needing help to remember baby care details, such as when their baby last ate or napped. They tried charts and journals, but thought there had to be a better way. So, they created the ITZBEEN™: a multi-purpose nursery tool that helps new parents remember the basic details of baby care. The ITZBEEN™ has four timers that count up with the touch of a button, and a host of other helpful features, all designed with the needs of a new parent in mind.

http://www.itzbeen.com/

I'm told that there is an iphone app that performs a similar function to this timer. The difference is that the Itzbeen timer also has a night light which is really handy when checking on baby during the night or trying to find a dummy that has fallen down the side of the cot!

I bought mine from Baby Bunting for $39.95 but they are available from most baby shops as well as numerous online stores.

Welcome to my blog!

2010-10-28T11:58:00.000+11:00

Six months ago today, I become a Mum for the first time. After a long labour, our beautiful princess, Layla Jade, came into this world. I was overcome with emotions - joy, fear, exhaustion, amazement and happiness. While my journey into motherhood had started many months before, that day in April saw the start of a new chapter in my life.

Since then, I have ridden the rollercoaster that is motherhood. We have had our ups and our downs. There have been days that I would rather forget as well as experiences that still amaze me. Having a child is like waking up on a new planet where everything seems the same but is different. As a well educated, corporate career woman, I had read every book and thought I was prepared. Ultimately, being a parent is one where education happens on the job. Every child is different, somethings work, others don't. There are no silver bullets just trial and error.

Every week now I come across products, resources and opportunities that make my life a little bit easier. My inspiration for this blog has been to help new parents navigate their way through the minefield of baby 'stuff'. I will be posting information on things that I have found useful, things that have helped me and recommendations. I look forward to your comments and contributions.

Jas x